Archive: http://raygunworks.net/dacia.html
Category: Duo POV, shounen ai? yaoi? someone wanna remind me of the difference again? ^_^o, sap
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: lime-ish, AU, masturbation
Arc: part of the Angels arc
Disclaimer: I do not own GW. I've got my fingers crossed, though....
Notes: This is a sequel to 'Ricochet'. It'll probably make sense if you haven't read the other fics in the arc, but don't blame me if it doesn't. ^_^

Everything
by Dacia

My unrequited love for Heero Yuy had gone pretty much according to the age old rules of misery and lustful longing. 'Love' (capital L-o-v-e) was fireworks and dancing in the streets and heart pounding ardour. At least that's what I'd always thought. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I realized the difference Heero Yuy's love made in me. For the first time in my life, I was calm. It's like I finally had something to be fighting for besides revenge because in the glow of Heero's smile I was finally at peace.

Me.

The grimmest reaper.

Maybe if I had ever even entertained the possibility that Heero Yuy might love me *back*, I would have been better prepared. As it was, I could still barely believe it. Each day waking up in his arms was like the first. Hell, I was even starting to turn into a morning person. I think I could have spent eternity watching him sleep beside me, our limbs so intertwined that I could hardly tell his from mine. He was perfection, right down to his chocolate brown hair which, amazingly, could simply *not* look bad.

Heero, on the other hand, was much more practical. Awake, he couldn't seem to just *be*. His was a body in motion -- every waking second he had something to do. I'm sad to say, however, that one of those things was not me.

Just having him near me, being able to touch him whenever I wanted to, was enough to make me believe that dying now wouldn't be so bad even if I was going to hell in a handbasket, but... well, I've always been a tactile person. Was it so awful of me to want something *more* than nearness?

I knew instinctively that he wasn't ready for anything hot and heavy. He still had trouble holding my *hand*, for chrissakes. And I was ok with that. As libidinous as I might appear, sex was something I could live without. Life was pretty much engrossing as it was. Not a lot of time to contemplate how best to get your rocks off when you're fighting for the future of humanity as you knew it. No -- what really got me was that he still wouldn't touch me. Not unless I touched him first. That was all well and good, and I wouldn't have given it up for a lifetime's worth of pocky, but it *was* rather one-sided.

I knew he cared about me. My god, how could I *not* know. Just the way he said my name made me feel that my sole purpose in life, in spite of appearances, was to love and be loved by Heero Yuy. I was also more than aware that he wanted me. You're just gonna have to trust me on that one. *wink* And I recognized full well that for him to have admitted any emotion at all, let alone *love*, was a one in a million sort of deal.

Patience, however, has never been one of my virtues.

Who would have thought it would be so difficult to seduce someone who was already in love with you?

By the time gym class was over, I had come to terms with the fact that Heero Yuy was simply not human. For a full week, I had employed every single technique in my tried and true arsenal to get him to lose that last vestige of control that had laid that 'hands off' schtick on him, all to no avail. I could have had anybody in the school, by that point, not that I wanted anyone but him. It was a big boost to my ego to have half the student body drooling over me and the other half preventing themselves from doing so through only a supreme act of will. It was when the captain of the football team made a pass at me that I knew I was good. *Damn* good. And I'd even driven *myself* crazy eating that popsicle.

Think about it...

Heero Yuy...

Popsicle...

Tongue swirling...

Lips surrounding...

Head bobbing...

An all encompassing heat...

... and a sweet, sticky mess by the time you're through.

I'd come in my pants just imagining it. The look on Heero's face when I'd asked if it'd been good for him, too, more than made up for the fact that I'd just gotten it on with frozen fruit juice on a stick. But still, nothing. Zero. Zilch. *Nada*. Here I was, literally a walking hard on 24 fucking 7, and Heero Yuy had the audacity to be able to fall asleep laying beside me.

Hence the whole not-human theory. There really was no other explanation. And it really made a twisted kind of sense. Sitting in the now empty locker room, it seemed entirely and unerringly logical.

Spending an hour knocking various balls into an assortment of holes had done more than its fair share of releasing some of my sexual frustration, but there's a limit to what such virtuous activities can do for you, no matter how much they make you sweat. My whole body was alive with sensation. I was ready and willing and I'd made *damned* sure I was alone. I've never had a modest bone in my body, but walking around sporting an erection that could have bored holes in Gundanium tended to draw the kind of attention I did my best to stay clear of.

I toed off my shoes and socks, stripping myself bare in a matter of seconds (what can I say? It's a gift) and made my way to the showers. I hadn't realized how hot I was until I felt the cool spray of falling water turning my insides to jelly. How could something so achingly elemental feel so good? Running my hand down my chest, I gasped as a stray finger brushed a hyper sensitive nipple. I don't think there's one of you out there who could blame me for doing it again. At this point, the whole of the award winning cast of CATS tromping through couldn't have stopped me. It wasn't long before my hand slid lower, taking hold of the firm flesh it found. Closing my eyes, I gave myself over to the searing pleasure that rocked through me as I mapped the expanse of hardness in my grip with my fingers before setting into a steady rhythm that soon had my knees quaking. I leaned back against the cool, tiled wall before my legs gave out completely, powerless to quell the low moans escaping my lips as visions of cobalt eyes danced in my head. Having been aroused for the better part of the morning, and damn near *all* of the afternoon, it took only moments for the pleasure coursing through me to crescendo, consuming me with an intensity that was almost painful before leaving me gasping and drained with Heero's name still echoing in my ears.

Better.

Much better.

Nothing like a bout of self love before colonial history class.

Chuckling, I raised my fingers to my lips. They had by now been nearly washed clean, but I could still taste a faint trace of tangy bitterness on my tongue as I leisurely suckled each one. Five minutes later I was dressed and on my way -- a little late to be sure, but all in all feeling like a new man.

The same could not in any way be said for Heero Yuy.

On a good day, Heero Yuy is about as relaxed as a man tightrope walking over a river of molten lead. Keeping yourself on your toes was, I had to admit, kind of a useful thing to do when you happened to pilot one of the six most destructive war machines ever known to man, but there was a limit to how far you could stretch yourself.

I, myself, was a master of letting go. Sure, my head was populated more often than not by the screams of the dead and the dying, but my body was another matter entirely. While Heero sat rigid as a flagpole two rows in front of me, I sat slumped in my chair as if unaware that I was reclining on a singularly uncomfortable mass of hard plastic and stretched my legs out, crossing them as I reveled in the joy of, at least for an hour or two, not being as horny as a bull toad. Closing my eyes at that point was probably not he best idea I've ever had because the next thing I knew, class was over, leaving me grinning sheepishly at one of my more indulgent teachers as students filed out of the room. By the time I had collected my vast array of school supplies, which I *insisted* on buying each and every time we carried out this school charade if only because they were so damned *useless*, I was alone.

Or so I thought until I lifted my head and found myself eye to eye with Heero Yuy.

It was at times like these that I wondered how I could possibly *not* love him. He was unutterably breathtaking. He was also coiled so tight that some enterprising young engineer could have used him to power half of Houston.

"Ne... What's up, Heero?"

I hadn't exactly expected a long, intensive dialogue on the state of his affairs, but it would have been immeasurably less brutal on my poor heart that his actual response, which was to stalk towards me.

And to just clarify things here, that wasn't a 'good' stalk. This wasn't a 'where have you been all my life, you gorgeous thing, you, come give me some good lovin' kind of stalk.

This was a 'you are sooo dead meat' stalk.

Which is why before I knew it I was on my feet and backing away from him with my hands raised before me as if anything I did could prevent that swift ass beating I knew was coming my way on wicked wings of pain. Thing was, I had some idea of why he was so pissed off and, truth be told, I didn't blame him. Inconspicuous I've never been, but my behavior of this past week had been so blatant that years from now they'd still be talking about me. I'd fully surpassed my previous high score for sticking out like a sore thumb by leaps and bounds, and now it was time to pay the piper.

"Now, Heero... Don't wanna fly off the handle, here."

Nothing. And seeing as how my back had just found the wall, there wasn't even a slim hope of escaping him. Not that there ever had been, but a guy likes to delude himself into thinking that there was at least some small chance he might avoid being pounded into oblivion. I lowered my hands, pushing them back like I could propel myself through what was, after all, annoyingly solid brick and mortar.

"No harm done, really." My laughter was a bit forced, even to my own ears.

He didn't stop until he was so close to me that at any other time I wouldn't have been able to resist taking advantage of his proximity.

"Just a bit of fun..."

His eyes were unbearably blue and unfathomably deep as he glared at me, placing one hand to either side of my shoulders as if I was going somewhere. It seemed an eternity before he opened his mouth to speak and, when he did, every bit of air I'd been able to force into my lungs was gone as if I had never learned to breathe.

"I saw you," he said.

His voice was low and vibrant, more like a growl than anything else.

"I've watched every move you made. I can taste you from across the room. The feel of your skin has been etched into my fingers."

He leaned closer still until I began to fall so deep and so fast into those two pools of cobalt that I couldn't think for the vertigo.

"What do you want from me?"

I closed my eyes, keeping them shut for several moments as I felt the lost tone in his voice wash over me.

What did I want from Heero Yuy? What more could I possibly ask for? I had his trust, his respect, his friendship, and his love. What more could there be?

But these were not the words that came out of my mouth. Opening my eyes, I heard my voice as if it were not me who had spoken and my voice said, "Everything."

The moment my mouth stopped moving, the very second the last syllable of that vibrating word had fallen from me, his lips were on mine.

I've kissed Heero before. Hell, kissing Heero was my newest favourite hobby. I couldn't get enough of him. I kissed Heero as often as possible, as if my life depended on it, but it was not until this instant that I realized it truly did.

He moved against me hungrily, his tongue working wonders in the warm heat of my mouth as he swallowed my impassioned moans, driving me to heights I had never dreamed existed. I was dimly aware of my knees giving way, of him gently cupping my chin as I slid down the wall, powerless to do anything but abandon myself to Heero Yuy's love.

With a kiss, Heero had shattered every preconception of bliss I had ever had.

With a kiss, Heero had melded his soul to mine.

He pulled back with a sigh and when he opened his eyes I could not speak for the depth of emotion I found there.

"Mission accepted."

He walked away from me, then, leaving me collapsed and quaking against the classroom wall.

Since then, I suppose you could say I've mellowed a bit. I still want Heero Yuy as much as I ever did, but there is a part of me that is scared to death at what having him would really mean.

Heero's kiss set off something deep inside of me for which I don't yet have a name. For the first time, Heero had held nothing back. I had asked for everything and Heero, out of love or need, had given it to me. In the process, he had left me reeling from the magnitude of what it was we were doing. A whole new world lay open before us and, as much as I wanted to be there, I was petrified to take the next step.

This was love.

Capital L-o-v-e.

And it wasn't at all what I'd expected.