Rating: R, for language, sexual references, and slight limeish-ness
Pairings: 1x2x1, hints of other pairings
Spoilers: None...if you've seen the show and movie. Sorry, I don't know the episode numbers, just what happened and when. Just mentions of what happened in the show, and a small reference to Endless Waltz.
Warnings: Hmmm... POV, bishounen ai ('cause they are good-lookin' *sucks up drool*) hehe, and maybe a bit of angst, some lime, and a small amount (that isn't so small) of sap. Despite the weird-ass humor, this IS romance. It just comes a bit later, I guess.
Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is by no means, or in any way, mine! Doesn't matter how many stars I wish on or how many pennies I flip, IT'S NOT! *sobs for a minute, then regains composure* But I can play with it...*cackles maniacally*

Illusions of Control
by Felix

It was right after that mission, when we returned to the school. We were sweaty and the adrenaline from battle was still pumping through our systems, making me feel like I could scale the wall of a 30-story building and screw someone -- namely Heero -- six hours straight. We returned to our respective dormitories, smartly dressed back in our school uniforms, in case we were found walking about the school. Because we had been at the library studying.

As I lay on my bed, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I had been lusting for him since I met him, that one fateful day he stole my aibou's parts. No one ever dared to do that, in fear of Shinigami's wrath. And the one person that did, I never had a chance to get back at. Yet. Just wait until I get my chance.

Heero was beautiful, in a dark, mysterious way. Strong, too. And everything else I could want in a man. Just lying there and thinking about him made me want him, and it didn't help that that want was strengthened by the adrenaline still coursing through my veins from battle. I didn't really have a plan at the time, but I hoped it would come to me once I got there, or I would just make it up as I got along.

So I got up and made my way toward his dorm, which conveniently happened to be right across from mine. Actually, it was more like diagonal, but whatever.

I knocked lightly on the door. No one answered. I knew he wasn't asleep, so I just opened the door, and walked right in. Yes, Heero Yuy was far from asleep. He was, in fact, sitting at his desk, typing away at everybody's favorite laptop.

He didn't even glance at me as I entered the room and plopped on his bed. We stayed like that for a while, quietness between us, and me staring at his beautiful back. Nice and muscled, I tell you. Just like his ass. And his legs, and stomach...and pretty damn near the rest of his body.

It was a while before he glimpsed at the reflection of me in the monitor and asked, "What do you want?" Man, he said that in that stupid no-emotion that didn't really make it sound like a question.

Oh my God, he couldn't have said worse words unless he inadvertently asked, "Do you want to fuck me Duo?" Or better, perhaps, in my case. Not that one can ask that inadvertently. I guess he didn't think about how many openings that innocent-sounding question left for me.

A lewd smile crossed my lips. "Do you really want to know, Heero?" That earned me a puzzled look, which, of course, I saw through the reflection of monitor. God forbid Heero should actually look straight at me.

I got up from the bed, walked behind him, silent as ever, and leaned over his shoulder. I brought my arms up, and wrapped them around his chest and midsection. He stiffened at the contact, not sure what to do. I was sure he was looking straight at me now, as his head turned slightly to get a better look at me, but I was looking at his reflection still. His face was somewhat blank, but his eyes were wider than normal.

I leaned my cheek against his, and rubbed a little. I then turned my face, and kissed him full on the lips. The whole time we were looking into each other's eyes, his filled with shock and mine filled with lust.

When I slid my tongue out and ran it across his lips was when he regained his stoicism. As I was looking in his eyes, I noticed it, and backed away swiftly, out of striking range.

He stood up slowly, and turned around just as slow. Though his faced remained to keep the stoic look just newly placed there, his eyes were filled with...something. Some untamed emotion that reigned control over his thoughts and actions at the moment.

I realized, as he stalked me like prey, that it was unadulterated feral lust. And I was at the receiving end of it. Wondering if I should be afraid or ecstatic, I just stood there, not sure what was about to come my way. I never was that afraid of Heero, so I guess I was ecstatic.

Heero stopped fraction of an inch away from me, a breath away from my lips, his breath exhaling on those very lips, warm and spicy.

I have to say he looked rather intimidating, so I tried to move to the side, but he brought up one arm to the wall, preventing me from leaving. He then scooped my face in his hands, pulling back on the hand he placed on the top my head, turning my face up into his, pushed me into the wall, and kissed me with a bruising force. So forceful, in fact, that I shrunk down, lips still locked with his, and had to hold on to is arms, lest I fall to the ground, and only his hands supporting me by my head. Using the hand he had on my chin, he opened my mouth, and deepened the kiss, mapping out my mouth with his tongue.

I'm still not sure whether it was because of his force that I shrunk down, or if it was just the fact that he was kissing me with all his being. It didn't matter how inexperienced he was, there was pure feeling behind it. Very few kisses we ever have can compare to this one.

I then brought my arms up, and wrapped them around him, digging my fingers into his back, molding to his body. One of his hands was now buried in my hair, just at the base of the neck, and the other was around my waist, holding me to him. Just as I slid my hand down the back of his pants, he stiffened, and pulled away form our heated kiss.

The look in his eyes was frightening. He looked so incredibly lost, then incredible, and then angry. And I mean really angry. I quickly released him form my hold and high-tailed it out of there. I, for one, did not want to be on the receiving end of Heero's anger.

I could practically read what had been going on behind those beautiful Prussian eyes. 'What am I doing? I lost control...I lost control! Impossible! He did it...how dare he make me do this?!' Yep, I could read him like a book.

After that encounter, he avoided me as much as possible. I don't blame him, though. He has his own organized world, and an unconsidered action can cause a disastrous reaction. A breach in defense -- me -- should be disposed of. But that cannot happen, as I am one of the few Gundam pilots, and am much needed in this war. The whole situation would perplex him to no end.

I lusted after him then, but I did like him as well. He was an interesting character. I couldn't stop thinking about him, and l toyed with the thought that I might love him. It was when he rescued me from my captivity in that OZ prison that I knew I loved him. He didn't kill me, when he knew he sure as hell was supposed to, and could finally dispose of his little problem. And I knew he definitely had some kind of feeling for me when he told me he used my name.

And now, I am here sitting in my shabby cabin on Peacemillion, thinking about him again, waiting for the upcoming battle. In the meantime, I will be seducing one Heero Yuy into loosing his control to me once again.

But first, I have to find him.

It may sound easy, but in reality, it is a very difficult task. Peacemillion is huge, and there are many places he could be. He could be playing with his Gundam, walking the corridors, chatting up our fellow Gundam friends (very unlikely), or even exercising. Or he could be with Relena.

I never found that girl to be a threat in any way. She was actually really nice, but I always thought it weird she interfered with Heero's missions, personal or not. But I knew she didn't stand a chance against me. I loved him, and while she may think she does love him, well maybe she does, but he doesn't love her. Not the way she may want him to.

Heero had been pointedly avoiding me since his arrival on Peacemillion, so finding him wasn't and easy task. He was probably afraid of what might occur. I'm sure he felt he wasn't ready to face me, but I'm telling you, he was ready. Says me.

I search high and low on ol' Peacemillion for any sign of the elusive Heero Yuy, bronze god. Ah, evasive as ever, well, that was not going to deter me from my mission. A mission I smartly titled Mission: Seduction. Clever, ne? Ninmu Ryoukai as the saying goes.

I walked up and down corridors, checking every public room, leaving the hangar for last. As I was passing another lounge, I stumbled upon Quatre and Trowa snuggling together on a nailed-to-the-floor-couch in the corner of the room, not knowing they were being watched. I smiled. How cute. Then I scowled. Why the Hell did Heero have to be so emotionally retarded?!

We could be doing that! And a whole Hell of a lot more!

But I couldn't actually blame Heero. Oh well, I'm just going to blame the scientists. It's all their fault, after all. I'd kill them later.

Surprise, surprise. Heero was in the hangar. I cursed myself for deciding to come here last. I could have started Mission sooner. Oh well. Objective 1 -- confirm location of one Heero Yuy: complete.

Heero was sitting on the shoulder on his Gundam, apparently done with his work, as he was just lounging around. Perfect...he had free time, and couldn't deny it. He also seemed kinda zoned out. The perfect time to strike and launch Objective 2.

I silently scaled the side of his Gundam, and creeped up behind him. I wrapped my arms around him from behind, and hefted him over my shoulder. Hey, I wasn't in the salvage business for nothing! I ran around to the cable, and took it quickly down, running to the closest lounge. Heero never knew what hit him.

Heehee...Objective 2 -- apprehend subject: complete.

I lugged Heero into the lounge, making sure it was empty, tossed him on a couch, then turned around and locked the door via control panel. I turned around again, and saw that Heero was standing in the middle of the room, looking dazed as Heero Yuy ever could.

"What," Heero started, "in the HELL was that?" He sounded surprised.

I though about it. I guess that if I saw me running through the hanger and halls with Heero Yuy slung over my shoulder, it would look rather comical. Oh well.

I simply said, "Well, I needed to talk to you." Boy, was I feeling calm.

Heero looked at me weird, then said, "You didn't need to go through all that. You could have just talked to be out there."

"No, you might have tried to go."

Heero seemed to realize then that he was in a room, alone, and with me. He looked around nervously, and noticed we were locked in by keypad. No easy escape for him.

"As you can see, I have noticed your avoidance. One would think you don't want to be around me."

Heero got that sad-looking, lost look in his eyes again, and I felt kinda sorry I put it there. But this needed to be settled.

"Look, I know that must have scared you a little...or a lot...back when we were at that school. But I acted on what I wanted, on my emotions. There is a reason you reacted the way you did. You obviously wanted it too." There. Had that all out there and done. Objective 3 -- half-explain reason of capture to subject: complete. I say half, because I don't intend to tell him that I also 'captured' him because I wanted him to finish what was left unfinished all those months ago.

Heero didn't look like he would be saying anything anytime soon, so I continued. "Would you tell me Heero, why you were displeased with your reaction?" I knew, but I needed to hear it from him, and he needed to say it.

Heero didn't say anything for a while, but then spoke up. "I...lost control." And that was all he told me. He took a quick glimpse at me, then continued, "I don't like loosing control. It means I am not strong enough to control a such simple thing as my body. It makes me fell weak."

I knew it. But I'm glad he said it out loud. But it was weird to see Heero reacting like this. He looked nervous, and sheepish, and not at all like I thought he would have reacted. I guess he had been thinking about it.

"Heero, loosing control isn't bad." He looked at me with a disbelieving look on his face. "In fact," I continued, "It can be fun. Come one Heero, just let go, and tell me what you want to do. What you feel like doing."

I watched as Heero closed his eyes, and relaxed a bit. "I...want to touch you."

Perfect. Objective 4 -- main objective -- initiate seducing subject to loosing control: complete.

"Well, then, Heero, why don't you?" I asked. Good, I was working around the barriers. He is actually open. I knew he would close up for battle after this. But this showed that he could be this way around me, in private. It showed that he indeed trusted me, and not just as a good pilot.

Heero walked up to me, distance between us practically nonexistent. He slowly brought his hand up, and caressed my cheek, every so softly. I never thought he could touch me like that so soon. I guess he had been doing a lot of thinking.

Then, he was pushing himself up against me, lips on mine, tongue sliding over my lips, demanding entrance. I parted my lips for him, and the moment I did, his tongue was exploring my mouth, discovering every crevasse it contained. Then we were dueling, sliding tongues against one another in an intricate dance, reaching as far back into each other's mouths possible.

We migrated toward the sofa, and he leaned me down to lay on it. We were hot and ready, and wanted one thing at the moment. Clothes were ripped off one another in the frantic need for the feel of skin on skin, and were now a thing of the past. He lay on top of me, full length of his body on mine, erections rubbing against each other, wet with excitement.

Boy, someone's pheromones were working well today.

He leaned up on his elbows and looked down at me with lusty bright eyes under a tumble of chocolate hair. I noticed now, that my braid had somehow come undone. Oh well, it was probably Heero.

He was still looking at me and asked, "You...want this?"

"Yes!" And that was all I felt I could say. I knew that he would assume top. It was natural for him to be in power, and I knew he wouldn't to drop all control so soon.

Ah, let him think he is in control. That was the only was to reel him in. I would teach him how he should let go, and it would be way more pleasant. Then Shinigami would flip on his ass when he was least suspecting. It's not that I don't like the bottom, I'm just not an invariable person. I don't like constants in sex. I like kinkyness and trying new things. I like filling and being filled. I don't prefer either, but I do like a change. Besides, if we love each other, we have to equal, right?

Then, all of the sudden, a light flashed on in the room. I jumped, and almost squealed like a girl. Almost. I didn't though. The interruption ended up being a vidscreen. Apparently, it was an important announcement. And it was. Milliardo Peacecraft was announcing his position as leader of White Fang, and declaring war on Earth.

"Time to go." I said. I knew we had to meet up with the others after that. Then we had go prepare for the upcoming battle. Too bad it interrupted us. We were getting somewhere.

When Heero started to get up, I laid a hand on his shoulder, telling him to stay a moment.

It was time to get serious here. I leaned back on the couch, spread my arms out slightly, and looked up at Heero lovingly. "Heero, I know you or I never planned to survive this war. We never really had anything to live for. But I'm telling you now, Heero, you can live for this if you choose to. It is a good enough cause. If you want this, Heero," I gestured toward myself. "Make it your own personal mission to live."

He knew I wasn't just talking about sex. I was talking about us, and what this may become. If he really wanted it, he would live, and finish this. I knew I wanted it. But if he didn't, maybe he would die, but maybe he'd live if he had already found a purpose. I truthfully hoped he'd live for me.

Ah...Ninmu Kanryou. Mission: Seduction -- complete success.

And who ever said Heero was the one who was mission-obsessed?

I couldn't say I wasn't nervous when Heero was falling through Earth's atmosphere, right before Libra, buster rifle lay dormant at his Gundam's side. I thought I had given him a reason! I thought he cared!

I was about to try to open a visual link, when I heard him say something over the soundlink.

"I..." What, Heero?!

"I...I will..." WHAT?!?!?

"I WILL SURVIVE!" I watched from my screen as Wing Zero brought up his buster rifle, and shot a powerful blast at the falling Libra, obliterating it. The only pieces left were fireworks for Earth to see, celebrating the end of the war.

I was relieved to see Libra had been demolished, and Heero had chosen to live. But what if he couldn't prevent his death? He was still descending into Earth's atmosphere, and if he didn't move a little quicker, he'd be in one hot Gundam.

It didn't look as if Heero would be moving his Gundam anytime soon. Shit. Probably unconscious. I flew Deathscythe behind Wing, and grabbed a hold of the white Gundam, looping my mech's arms under his. I put in landing coordinates for Sank, and headed straight for Earth, Wing Zero in hand.

Once we landed, Heero was semi-conscious. He had been through much worse, he was just a bit tired from being tossed about in his Gundam for many long hours.

Relena offered us a place to stay while we 'sorted things out'. Though she gave us all separate rooms, I stayed in Heero's. And I think Trowa might have sneaked into Quatre's room, as I might have seen him in the hallway on my way to Heero's room, once, but one can never really be sure when he's being all stealthy. It could have been an odd plant in the shadows. Well, that doesn't concern me.

Heero had rested the day after arriving on Earth, due to the nagging of yours truly. He did need it. And I couldn't say I didn't enjoy snuggling with him.

When Heero and I were all rested up, our libidos reminded us of what we left unfinished on Peacemilion. And we had every intention to compensate for the missed time. A nice raunchy and kinky compensation.

Our fun definitely cleared up any doubts anyone had about the relationship between Heero and I. And if Relena didn't know she couldn't have Heero the way she may have wanted, she sure as Hell did now.

Who'da thought Heero was a screamer?

I remember those days clearly. I think my way in getting Heero was rather clever. Something my brilliant mind could definitely come up with. And I am very happy with the results.

In the one-year interval between the Eve wars, both Heero and I were both wary. We both knew something was stirring, and some faction or another would pop up and try to take over the world and space. Same old, same old. So between the heated sex we wold have every possible moment, we had a watchful eye on potential threats.

I wasn't all that surprised when had Heero found Relena was kidnapped. I had figured someone would do it sooner or later. Ah, the things I do for Heero. I'd follow him to the ends of the world, I tell you.

After the war with Marimeia, though, Heero was a different person. But in a good way. It was like he put his ghosts to rest, and perhaps straightened some things out in the process. It was nice to see the shadow in his eyes gone. He was finally free.

In present days, Heero and I live in a little beach house off the coast of California. An average house set on a high cliff above the sandy beach. No one else is around for a mile or so, and the city isn't far from our house. It is a rather nice city, tourist trap, though. It was a city practically built for reeling them in.

Ever since we felt the finality of the last war, we felt we could finally have some steady living. So we bought this house. Heero has been obsessed with the sea since the end of the second war. I often ask him why, but he says I should know. I mean, it is beautiful and all, but it is the kind of obsession I have with the moon; there is an emotion behind it, a reason. He just couldn't think of what sentimental attachment Heero had to the ocean.

It is the anniversary of the day I shot Heero. Or at least that's what I call it. Heero calls it the anniversary of his meeting his soulmate. But I just call it that because for a day of meeting his soulmate, he sure did get shot a lot. But he knows I fell the same way he does.

Right now, I am laying here in his arms on the hammock, watching another beautiful multicolored sunset.

"Heero, why do like the ocean so much?" I ask the question about once a week now, still wondering, hoping he'll give in someday and tell me.

Heero sighed. "Alright." Woohoo! My lucky day!

Heero turned to look at me, and spoke in a serious, but soft tone. "I 'like the ocean so much' because its deepest indigo is the color of your eyes when you are looking at me while we are making love. Our first kiss was at an oceanside school. And I met the most important person in my life on the ocean. I met my soulmate on the ocean. I met the person I love more than anything, and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with on the ocean." As he said that last sentence, he slid something on my finger.

I looked down and saw the beautiful ring on my finger, a platinum ring, almost white. The metal looked weaved together in intricate patterns, a single black precious stone set in the center. Where the Hell had he pulled that from? Then, it dawned on me, and I looked down at his hand, and saw a ring, mirroring mine, except set with a diamond, then up at him with watering eyes. Shit, I thought he hadn't turned me into a sap. Damn him.

"Marry me, Duo? Be with me for eternity?" So much love in his voice, how could I ever say no to you?

The tears spilled over my eyes then. I swear it was the most sappy, romantic, and wonderful thing I have ever heard from his luscious lips. And I loved him so much for it. I then noticed I hadn't answered yet...

"Yes! God, yes!" How could I say otherwise? I pressed my lips to his, a kiss mirroring the passion in our first kiss, but done with much more expertise.

Anything for you, koibito.

For eternity and a day, my love.

Aishiteru...zutto...