Pairings: 1x2+1
Genre: Drama?
Rating: PG?
Warnings: Hm... language... angst... Heero centric. Extremely mild Relena bashing.
Disclaimer: The g-boys belong to someone far richer than I. *pouts*

Recollections of the Heart
by Mairead/Mair

The hit slammed Duo against the harnesses and he bit his lip. Christ! This s.o.b. kept coming! He whirled his scythe to block the Aries down sweep only to be tackled by another. One of the control panels popped sending a hot piece of metal into his side.

His eyes widened as it hit. "FUCK!" he exploded as pain shot through him.

Duo wrenched the controls, twisting the scythe and bringing it down into the mobile suit latched onto his waist. "Where the hell are you Quatre?" He yelled. This mission was a mistake from the start.

The mobile suit attached to him exploded, shoving him backwards and out of the way of the continued attack from the Aries. Duo rocked against the harnesses as the smell of melting computer parts started to fill the cabin. Static crackled over his intercom. He shook his head, trying to ignore the pain in his side. The technical readouts weren't exactly helpful either: Deathscythe, down 85%.

Duo struggled with the controls, trying to get back up. His head rocked back as something hit Deathscythe again and knocked him flat on his back. "Come on, I don't want to die here. Not today, not tomorrow..." He swallowed, forcing down the queasiness from the pain. "Not any time soon."

"..o?" His intercom crackled out.

Another knock on Deathscythe sent him against the harnesses once more. Spots danced in front of his eyes as the straps bit into his injured side.

"...uo? C... ou... r ... me?" A voice pierced through the static as he gasped in his seat. Duo struggled to breathe as he brought up a communications screen. Static covered the small area, "Quatre, if you don't get over here-"

"Du..." more of Quatre's static laden communication shot through the cockpit. "Ca... you ... t up? D..."

Duo watched as the window died and the static faded along with Quatre's voice. He couldn't believe it. Duo fumbled with the communications relay as the rest of his internal screens died. He started to curse a blue streak as the systems failed to respond. Something rocked against the gundam causing him to blanch in pain.

This time the spots in front of his eyes grew and reality faded from sight.

Trowa knocked on the door. When he didn't receive an answer, he tried the handle. The doorknob turned easily, the door opening onto the smothering silence inside the dark room. He looked in to see Heero seated on his bed, back leaning against the headboard and the wall. Still dressed in his school uniform, his navy blue covered legs had his wrists hanging limply over his knees. His eyes stared off into space instead of a computer screen. Closed for once, the laptop sat next to him on the desk.

"You've heard."

Heero nodded, his face an emotionless mask.

Trowa studied the silent figure. "You didn't tell him again did you?"

Heero shook his head. "The mission is too important. I can't leave either."

Trowa's eyes flickered down. "Quatre told me he's alive."

"And in a coma. It took the Magunacs four hours to cut through the gundanium to get to him. He'd be fine if Quatre didn't get suckered into the draw. Quatre should have stayed with him in regards to the mission."

His head snapped up. "That wasn't Quatre's fault. I helped him do the research." Trowa replied shortly. "Nothing we found gave us any indication to believe it was an ambush."

"Always expect the unexpected!" Heero shot back, looking up for the first time since Trowa came in.

"Don't take your guilt out on me. I'm not the one who's feeling helpless and sorry."

"That's right. You don't give a shit."

Trowa blinked in surprise, his face an unreadable mask. "Heero Yuy. If Quatre were in the hospital instead of Duo, I'd be just as concerned. However, Quatre would know that I loved him. Duo is an important member of this team. I am concerned for him professionally as well as personally. He is a friend to all of us. Things happen. This is war. He will be greatly missed if he dies. Don't ever make the mistake of accusing any of us that we don't care. We, at least, have been honest with him." He turned and walked out the door, not bothering to shut it behind him.

Heero sat on the bed, guilt weighing on his soul. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. Duo didn't know he liked him, Trowa was right about that. He couldn't let his personal feelings interfere with the mission though. Every time they went into battle his attention split between Duo and what he should be doing. Every time he turned around Duo would do something that snagged his attention. His day to day life was compromised by the existence of Duo.

Heero opened his eyes. Who was he kidding? His life was Duo Maxwell. The memories of the months he spent away from Duo after his self destruction were painful. Not because his body hurt, but because his braided companion wasn't there to tell him he was being an idiot. His American wasn't there to tell him he needed to rest. His love wasn't there to tell him it would be ok.

Heero glared at the open door. He rose in one swift movement and smacked the door closed.

Heero stood in the middle of the dark room remembering the night Duo left. He almost asked Duo to promise to come back directly after the mission. He almost asked him to be safe. He almost told him not to go. He almost said, "I love you."

Duo just paused on the windowsill and smiled. He said he'd be back soon. Then he disappeared.

Heero glared at the window and stalked back to his bed, lying down. That night he'd had another nightmare and there wasn't any Duo to tell him it wasn't real. He didn't have the chance to tell Duo that he didn't dream. He closed his eyes. Heero just wanted to be next to Duo's side.

"Why don't you write a letter?" Quatre suggested.

"That would serve no purpose." Heero scowled at the figure on the screen.

Quatre sighed. "Think of it as insurance. That way if you ever chicken out on telling Duo again he can always find the letter and find out that way."

"Not logical."

"Heero. Listen to me. Duo's been in a coma for the past two weeks. The only reason we haven't been found is because we're in a private medical center. Here the doctors believe that having contact with loved ones can help bring a person out of a coma. You could dictate the letter into an audio file and I could play it for Duo. He probably wouldn't even remember what you said." Quatre countered.

Heero glared.

"It would take your mind off of worrying."

His glare increased.

"Look. Either way you will tell Duo that you like him. As more than a friend. The rest of us won't be able to stand going through this between you two again."

Heero continued to glare at the now stern faced Quatre on the monitor. "I'll consider it." He ended the call. He apologized to Trowa the day after their discussion. Trowa suggested a letter as well.

He got up from his desk and looked about the room, restless. Reasons for not writing a letter and telling Duo. One. Duo couldn't reject him. Two. Duo wouldn't make him horny just for the hell of it. Wait a minute. Duo did that already, he just didn't know it. Ok, two. He wouldn't have to write the letter. Three. He wouldn't have to worry about being sex deprived. Four. Dr. J wouldn't have a fit. Five. Duo wouldn't... No, Duo already did distract him from the mission.

Heero turned and looked out the window. Reasons to write the letter. One. No more obsessive deliberations about what to do. Two. No more harping about doing something from the rest of the pilots. Three. He could have a reason to kiss Duo. Four. He wouldn't have to jack off about Duo in his gundam anymore to avoid detection. Five. He could forget about Duo if he rejected him and get over it. Six. He could actually take comfort when Duo offered it.

Heero rolled the options over in his mind then toggled the audio recorder on the laptop. Letter pros outweigh the cons.

He cleared his throat in the empty room and began to speak. "Duo. I know you can't hear me. I don't know if you will ever hear this when you're awake. I... I hope you will. Right now you are in a coma. The recommended course of action is to talk to you."

Heero paused. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. No time for second thoughts. Mission accepted. "You know I don't talk unless I have something to say." He paused again. "Duo, I like you. I am your friend. But I like you enough to want to be more than your friend. I don't know if that's love. I've never loved anyone before. I know that you are important to me. More important than the other pilots."

He let his stomach settle as he thought about what to say next. "I'm going to ask Quatre to let you hear this when you wake up. I know the chances of you waking up get slimmer every day you're in a coma but you can't leave. Not now. If you return the feelings I have expressed in this letter, I ask that you return to what ever school we are at when you wake up and room with me again. If you don't return my sentiments but wish to remain my friend then please room with Wufei. If you'd rather not associate with me, please request a single." Heero swallowed, his throat dry. "Come back soon, Heero." He toggled the audio recorder off.

Heero looked down at the computer, fingers hovering over the keys. He typed a quick message to Quatre and sent off the file. His laptop beeped and J appeared on the screen. Heero blinked.

"You have a new mission. Alert the pilot of Shenlong to travel with you to New York. There is a base there that needs to be destroyed. You will be enrolling in a school there. An apartment has been rented for you already. There will be no radio contact until the mission is completed after this transmission. You should have this accomplished within the next month. Destroy all data."

Heero nodded. "Mission acknowledged."

The screen faded once more to its regular settings. Damn.

Heero worked from the library computer. He couldn't find the information J claimed was there. A paperwad bounced off the monitor and he flipped screens. He glanced out of the corner of his eye to see a teacher walking toward him. A couple of screen clicks later and his graphic filled the screen, making it look like he worked on a homework essay.

He waited as the teacher walked past. When the teacher left to check on another student's progress he looked around and saw Wufei return to his book. Heero switched back to the other screen.

Heero really wished he knew what name Quatre put Duo in under. Before they left he checked the hospital but there weren't any clues as to which patient Duo was. It'd been a month since that mission and the nightmares just kept getting worse. He had one every night now, sometimes twice. Heero wanted to email Quatre the day he sent the audio file about Duo, but J ended that plan with the mission.

Heero mentally shook himself. He needed to focus on the moment at hand.


Screw focus, kill girl. Heero flipped screens and tried to ignore the girl next to him.

"Heero, I found you again. What are you doing here?"

Heero swore. He should have let that building fall on her back at that first school. "Omae o korosu." He shut the program down quickly and snatched his disk from the drive.

Wufei rose behind him and grabbed his books. He then reached out and grabbed Relena's arm. "Come."

Heero swept past them toward the doors, things tucked under his arm. Once they all made it outside he turned to face her. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded in Japanese.

Relena blinked and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "Heero I-"

"Senseless woman. We are here for a reason. An important one. You could get us killed popping up like this. All it takes is someone watching where you go and then taking a look at the student transfers and we die." Wufei hissed. "Go home."

Heero looked over at Wufei as he released her. "I need to let J know."

Wufei nodded. "I'll give your excuses to the instructor."

Heero gave a short bow and took off toward down town. Silly girl, He thought. Absolutely no intelligence what so ever. If she wasn't needed for peace he'd happily grant her request to kill her.

He turned the corner and Duo rose in his mind again. How many times had he called him an idiot? Loneliness ate at him. It should be Duo scaring her off with him, not Wufei. He dodged a pedestrian and ran on. Duo never should have gone on that mission.

He reached the apartment building and slowed to a walk. Heero punched the door code and ran for the stairs.

"Hey! Be careful!"

Heero ignored the woman and started up, avoiding the lift. He took the stairs two at a time, lungs protesting the run. Duo would be protesting as well. He'd say the stairs were only three seconds faster than the lift so why exhaust your self?

He rounded the corner and took the next flight up a little slower. He should be thinking about what he would tell J, not about Duo. Heero frowned panting as he took the last few steps up to the last flight of stairs he had to take. J would not be pleased Relena found them. He slowed his steps, giving his lungs a break. He pushed open the door to the hall and walked down to their apartment.

One of the kids ran down the hall and the smell of cooking garlic wafted down the hall. Heero fiddled with his keys and unlocked the door. He removed his shoes and walked immediately to his room.

His school jacket hit his bed as he dropped his things on the desk. Two minutes later his books were forgotten as he connected to J.

"I thought I told you radio silence."

"Relena Peacecraft is here."

J clacked his hand, annoyed. "Lay low. One of the others transferred to the school today. He'll be joining you at the apartment. Two of you continue the hacking work while the other one will divert the girl."

Heero nodded. "Acknowledged."

"J out."

Heero watched as the screen went dark. He blinked. J didn't mention who enrolled. He frowned. A drop of sweat slid off his forehead and hit the back of his hand. He glared at the drop and walked to the bathroom and grabbed one of the towels. He'd take his shower after the other pilot arrived. Wufei slept in the other room so it would be up to whom ever arrived to pick the lesser of two evils.

He scrubbed the sweat off his face and wandered into the kitchen. Study hall was their second to the last class so Wufei and the other pilot would be back at the apartment in about half an hour. They, at least, would get to take advantage of the pre-arranged ride.

Rides. Memories assaulted him of the ride on Duo's bike; Duo's braid pinned between them to keep from hitting him in the face. Heero leaned against the sink holding the towel over his face. He had to stop thinking about him; it wouldn't do him any good to distract himself like this on the mission. As soon as it ended he could go and visit Duo; he'd be able to try to talk him back. He just had to hold together long enough. Heero took the towel away and flopped it on the counter. He jerked open the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Heero twisted it open in time to hear a noise come from his room.

He hadn't heard anyone come in. Heero frowned and set the water bottle down on the counter. He strode back to his room and froze at the sight of the figure kneeling next to the dresser. "Duo."

The braided figure started and turned, still on his knees and still dressed in the same school uniform minus the jacket. "Hey Heero! I didn't think anyone was here. How've you been?" He chirped, waving.

Heero stared at him, stunned, his mind filtering back to the letter he dictated so long ago.

Duo continued on, not really noting Heero's silence as he set a shirt into the bottem drawer. "Teach' let me out of class early when I told her I hadn't even been to the place I'm stayin' at. Didn't see you in class but I figured maybe you got dragged off by Miss. Pink-and-cracked." Duo shrugged. "I hope you don't mind me taking-"

Heero cut him off by striding across the room, seizing him and kissing him. Eye's wide, Duo clutched at Heero to keep from falling off balance. Slowly, when he realized this wasn't the beginning to his wildest wet dream, he relaxed into the kiss, returning it with just as much passion as he got it.

Heero's hand supported his chin and caressed his hair as Duo clutched at Heero's sleeve and the front of his shirt. He could feel Heero's leg between his. Their lips parted and their tongues danced about exploring and tasting. Duo felt his legs start to tremble and he slid back into the wall. Heero followed.

When they finally came up for air, Duo discovered himself pinned quite effectively between Heero and the wall with his legs tangled up with Heero's. Duo blinked at Heero. "Heero I-"

Heero cut him off again with a kiss but this time Duo put a stop to it before it went anywhere like the first one. He placed one long slender finger over Heero's lips. "Heero what are you doing? Not that I'm complaining but-"

Heero blinked and flushed. "You didn't get the audio file from Quatre?"

"What audio file?"

Heero turned bright pink.

Duo watched in fascination. "What exactly did you say?"

"Well... I..." Heero looked away, lowering his eyes to his lap. He mumbled something.


"I made the audio file so it could be played to bring you out of your coma. In it I... I told you that I liked you. I asked if you would be adverse to the concept of us being more than just friends. If it sounded like a good idea I asked you to join us at whatever school we were at and join up with me in my room. If you didn't want a relationship but wanted to be friends I recommended Wufei's room." Heero mumbled a little louder.

Duo grinned and caressed Heero's cheek. "Well I'd say I certainly don't mind. If I did, I wouldn't do this." He leaned in and renewed the kiss with a vengeance. Duo slid his arms around Heero's neck as Heero pressed him against the wall.

When they next came up for air, Duo spoke. "You never asked how I was. It's a good thing I'm doing better isn't it?"

Heero smirked and resumed kissing Duo. Duo gasped as Heero began kissing a trail down the side of his neck.

A slow clapping in the doorway caused Duo's eyes to shoot open. Heero turned away from Duo to growl at the figure in the doorway.

Wufei smirked and continued applauding. "It's about time." Duo flicked him off and he took that as his hint to leave. Wufei turned away from the necking pair and clasped his hands behind his back.

With Duo back in action Heero would at last actually pay attention to the mission. This base wouldn't last a day more.

Yes, things were definitely back as they should be.

The End
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