Pairings: 1+2 (unrequited), 2+H+2
Warnings: OOC, Angst, death (not Heero or Duo)
Disclaimer: Bandai or some other company owns Gundam Wing and its characters.

No Contest
by MaiSieuPhong

Hilde had been diagnosed with cancer for at least a year before she passed away. Duo had been a faithful husband and had remained by her side until the very end, even when I'd tried my best to tear them apart.

Everyone seems to have thought that I'd fallen in love with Relena, but they couldn't have been anymore dead wrong. I've loved Duo ever since we met. At first, of course, I didn't know what those foreign feelings were. He'd shot me, I'd stolen his gundam parts, we'd traded punches, and we'd saved each others lives once in a while during the war. It wasn't until the end of all the fighting that I had time to myself to think and ponder the philosophical meanings of life.

Even though I'd been set free of a soldier's burdens, there was still a string attached to my heart that kept me bound to some emotion I couldn't identify. There was something I needed that I couldn't find. It was like buying a jigsaw puzzle, only to find out that it was faulty with a missing piece. I'd spent a year trying to find the piece by myself and finally realized where it had been hiding all along: Duo.

I'd been spring cleaning my apartment when I found a hair band (His hair band. I remember placing it there a while ago) lying at the bottom of my drawer. At first, I didn't know why I'd kept it. I'd told myself that it was just a memento of one of the first friendships I'd developed on my own. I'd never been a sentimental person before though, hiding keepsakes away from harm.

I'd kept it only because when I stared at it, I couldn't bear to throw it away. It had belonged to Duo.

It dawned on me that maybe… I was in love. The missing piece I had been looking for in my life was another person. I had been yearning for a person to be with me, to laugh with me, hold me, and love me. Of all the people, only thinking of Duo made me light headed. Only Duo could made my mouth go dry, my heart hammer anxiously, my palms sweaty, even my tongue move clumsily to stutter.

I loved Duo Maxwell. No one else just him.

I needed Duo in my life so much that I felt aimless and deceased without him. He was the rain to a desert, the milk to a kitten, and even the balm for my wounds. He was the other half of my soul, I swear.

Upon my epiphany, I left my home, sold my property and left all contacts to find my love. Why did I need worldly possessions when I only needed my heart? I grabbed my money and left everything else behind to start a new life with Duo.

…But I'd taken too long to figure out my puzzle. When I'd finally found him, he'd already moved on.

When I knocked on the door, I was surprised when his petite friend, Hilde, answered. What was she doing there? I asked for Duo and she looked threatened, frowning at me.

"What for?" She asked. I glared back, angry that this small girl was in my way.

"I'm Duo's friend, Heero Y--"

"I know who you are." She snapped. We'd met very briefly during the war. "What are you doing here?" I bit back the urge to just shove her aside and look for Duo myself. Her possessive questions left me rather unnerved.

"It's a common thing for friends to visit each other." I explained slowly as if she had the mentality of a toddler. Her thin eyebrows narrowed at me in disdain.

"Oh yes," she agreed sarcastically, her voice was so full of contempt (I had no clue what she held against me so much), "so common for friends to visit that you never took the time to come and see him in over a year." She pointed out. I grimaced internally. Hilde was right. I had been a bad friend to Duo, but that was why I was here now: to make amends.

I had come to his colony with a mission to strengthen our friendship and hopefully develop it into something more. So far, I wasn't getting farther at all not with that woman standing in my way.

Hilde opened her mouth as if to tell me off, but she was interrupted when a voice called out from behind her. "Hilde? Who's that at the door?" The voice was thick and baritone, but oddly familiar. Just hearing it alone made my nerves jump in anticipation.

Duo appeared, coming through the hallway and toward the door. He blinked at me for a moment before recognition hit him. I was awed by his change. He'd grown a few inches ahead of me, his boyish looks had developed into angles and he looked absolutely handsome. I felt my mouth go dry.

His face brightened and he sidestepped the girl to reach over and embrace me tightly. Relieved that Duo had not received me as badly as his friend, I relaxed against him and said "hello". Raising my arms tentatively, I returned the hug lightly. I glanced down quickly and saw the short woman watching with a sour expression.

This was more of the kind of start I had hoped for. He kept an arm around me and nudged me into his home.

"Hilde, what are you waiting for?" Duo raised an eyebrow toward he female friend. "Get some drinks out. We have a guest."

She seemed to object. Her body was tense. I could even see the cord strain in her jaw, but she relented, hurrying to the kitchen. Duo smiled after her and ushered me into the house.

"Man, where have you BEEN! It's been, what? A year?" He asked, showing me to the living room.

"It's been too long, Duo." I admitted. His house had a comely feeling to it. I saw paintings hanging on the walls. There were shelves decorated with small personal tidbits. Even the small niche atop the fireplace was decorated with many pictures in frames.

I picked one up and frowned at the photo contained inside. It was a picture that looked like it had been taken at a junk yard. Both Hilde and Duo were smudged with blackened oil, looking very much like grease monkeys, but they looked very happy with their arms hooked over each others shoulders.

I placed the picture down quickly with a face of distaste. They seemed far too close to my liking.

Hilde came back with tall, cool glasses of lemon flavored tea. I took my seat on the couch and mumbled some noise of gratitude for the drinks. The cold drink was my oasis, drenching my dry throat. I hadn't realized how nervous I was until then.

Hilde made a big show of sidling up to Duo and plopped herself comfortably on his lap. Tipping her head over a bit, she kissed Duo quickly on the lips as Duo responded with something that could only been done so smoothly with frequent practice. With my grip tightening on the glass, I watched as they kissed quickly and he wrapped his arms around her in a loving way.

She gave me a look, something akin to a dare to say something about it. I ignored her childish behavior and returned my gaze toward my main reason for being here. Duo was looking at me with a happy grin and asked me many questions pertaining to what I'd been up to when I'd disappeared for over a year. Our conversation lasted until late into the evening and Hilde refused to let go of the man the entire time, clinging to him as if she owned him like some sort of possession.

He invited me to stay for dinner and of course I agreed readily. While Hilde had gone to clear the dishes, Duo gave me a peculiar look.

"What is it?" I asked, tilting my head curiously.

He only chuckled and shook his head. "You've changed a lot, Heero. You used to be a lot more quiet and secretive." He noted. "Whatever you did, it was for the better. I like this new you."

I smiled lightly toward him, happy that he noticed. He even liked it. Maybe there was a chance for us to start a relationship after all!

When it came close to midnight, Duo offered to give me a room, but Hilde spoke up. They had an important meeting to attend tomorrow early in the morning. They didn't have time to house a guest.

They? I frowned at her again. They lived together? I had been hoping that she was just coincidentally visiting his place the same time I had decided too. Duo looked between the girl and me and scratched the backside of his head in a nervous gesture. He seemed stuck between a rock and a hard place and I decided to be kind to him to get on his good side.

"It's all right. I already had a hotel room reserved anyway."

Duo relented a bit guiltily and gave me an apologetic smile. "Maybe next time okay?" I nodded as I slipped on my shoes and made my way to the car I'd rented.

"Wait, let me walk him to his car." I heard Hilde tell Duo. Her footsteps were fast and loud as she chased after me.

She didn't say a word until I'd reached my car, far away from Duo's ears.

"I know why you're here." She informed. I gave her a guarded look. "You love him, don't you?" Had I been that obvious?

"That's none of your business." I replied with enough coldness to have brought snow.

"It IS my business." She hissed at me. Hilde moved to block my way from the car door. "Duo is my boyfriend. We've gone out for nine months and you can't just come in all of a sudden and take him away. We're starting a life together!"

I stared at her and she stared back with courage and defiance. "Relationships can be broken." I told her. Even if they were girlfriend and boyfriend, that didn't mean they were bound for the rest of their lives.

"You lost your chance when you had it." She cried angrily at me, standing on her toes to reach my height. "He'd been waiting for you after the war and you just left." Duo had been waiting for me? I was stunned at her words. Did that mean Duo loved me back? "You left him. I stayed back and was there for him. You have NO right to come and play with his heart again. His heart belongs to me now. You've already given it up."

I growled with irritation. If I had known I had had it in the first place, I wouldn't have given it up so easily.

"You don't own him, Hilde." I told her succinctly. The longer she stayed in my path, the more I was boiling with anger, resentment and jealousy. How dare this woman try to stop me? I LOVED Duo. What did she know of love? She was just probably sleeping around with him before finding another man. "It's Duo's heart. He'll give it to whoever he feels fit."

"Fine." She conceded. She wisely dodged and got out of my way before I gave into my temper and throttled her haughtiness "You can try as much as you want. You'll find out the hard way that Duo's heart is already mine." With a huff, she stomped back into the house without as much as a look back at me.

I glared daggers into her back until she shut the front door behind her. I was ready as ever to prove her wrong.

A week later, I moved to an apartment complex just a few miles away from Duo and Hilde's house. Duo had been ecstatic that his friend was now so close and easy to reach. Hilde was less than pleased.

I figured that if I was closer to Duo, I would have more time to be with him. I worked my way into his life again, dropping by to hang out on weekends. We built a classic car together as a hobby, went out to have beers together and did other manly things two best friends would do.

I was more than mildly disappointed every time Duo mentioned Hilde's name while we were supposed to be out having fun. It was as if my feelings for him weren't good enough and he always had to talk about someone else. Feeling spurned only made me double my efforts. I invited him out to the gym, to art exhibits, to conventions and arcades.

Sometimes he'd arrive at our meeting place with a baffled expression, telling me that Hilde and he had gotten into an argument over me.

"She's acting so jealous." Duo told me over a beer. "She doesn't understand why I need to go and hang out with my friends. She doesn't understand that sometimes a guy needs other guys just to talk about stuff like sports, morning wood and all that other crap. She thinks I'd rather be at home watching some Home Shopping Network with her or something." He shook his head, not able to understand why Hilde had been so vehement against him going out again.

I knew why though. She didn't want Duo to be with me. I looked at Duo, who was pouting so cutely into his mug of beer. "Maybe she doesn't trust you enough." I suggested. "She probably thinks you're out cheating on her." I wanted to egg him on into admitting that Hilde didn't trust him like a lover should have. If she didn't trust his love, then their relationship obviously had problems.

Somehow, I had to make Duo see how unfit they were for each other. Surely he would prefer me over her. Duo raised his face to look up at me. He scrunched his nose at me in an adorable, arguable expression.

"Nah, Hilde's not like that. She trusts me as much as I trust her." Disappointed that he hadn't taken my bait, I backed down onto my stool.

"Maybe you should just tell her that you need to be around guys once in a while. If she loves you, she'd understand." I tried a different approach. He snorted and picked up a cashew from the glass container and laughed.

"No girl understands that." He pointed out.

I sighed wearily. "Maybe you guys just aren't made for each other." I decided to be blunt. Duo looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I looked back at him innocently.

"What are you talking about?" He took my statement as a joke. "We're perfect for each other. Don't you think?" He asked rhetorically. I decided not to answer or else he would have been sorely angry with it. "Hilde's the best. I swear, if you ever found a girl like Hilde, you'd fall for her too. She's perfect for me. She's sweet, kind, loving, cute, and one helluva cook."

I frowned. It never seemed that way to me whenever I saw her. She was a nagging hag every time I came over. I couldn't understand what Duo saw in her.

I courted Duo for another year. While our bond of friendship had grown so strong that no one (not even Hilde) could break it, that's all it was. Friendship. Duo joked around with me, played sports with me and hung out with me, but it never advanced into anything with any resemblance to intimacy or amorous affection.

In the meantime, it seemed that Duo was growing very serious with Hilde. Their relationship seemed to glow and laugh in my face. I couldn't believe he was actually having a real relationship with her.

"I'm going to ask Hilde to marry me." He told me one day as he leaned to look into the hood of our car. I was so surprised by the statement that I'd almost dropped my wrench.

"What?" Was all I managed to stutter.

"You know, give her the ring. Get engaged." He smiled naively at me. The declaration had nearly ripped my heart and lungs out. I wanted to grab hold of him and shake him until his teeth rattled. She wasn't meant for him. Why couldn't he see that? She might have been nice and pretty, but she wasn't made for him. I was! I was right in front of him, trying to get his attention with every move and every word but all he had on his mind was that wretched woman.

My lungs tightened so much I had trouble breathing a bit. I think I was wheezing for a short moment. Why couldn't I make him see? I watched as he brushed his long bangs out of the way and in the act, smudged a bit of oil over his forehead. He'd felt the wetness and tried to look up as if he could see the smear atop his head. It was cute and I had to smile slightly despite the heaviness in my chest.

Quickly, I grabbed a towel and wiped it off. I brushed the towel softly over his forehead and even he was surprised at my gentleness. My heart ached at the indirect rejection. It felt sore and tired. I stared at Duo's violet eyes and couldn't accept his decision. There was no way he was choosing her over me.

He loved me first. Not her. She was only his second choice. If only I could make him see how much I wanted him now, it would change everything. If I could make him see what was waiting right in front of him, he should happily come back to me.

To my dismay, Duo was really, very serious about getting married. He called me in the middle of the night. His voice was loud and ecstatic.

"Guess what?!" He cried over the video-phone. I heard noisy, bubbly giggling in the background.

"You won the lottery?" I gave it a try.

He shook his head and grinned. "Nope, even better. Show him, Hilde." He reached over off the view of the camera and pulled a hand over a slender delicate hand -- Hilde's hand. Duo tilted the hand to the side so I could make out the shiny sparkle. She wore an engagement ring. She jutted her head into view and smirked knowingly at me. Her eyes shone in the brightness of victory.

"We're getting married!" He announced joyously. Wrapping his arms around his girlfriend, they shared a big "glomp-fest" and went all gushy over each other in front of me.

"That's… really great, Duo." I told him, forcing out the lie. "Look, it's really late at night and I have some really early errands to do tomorrow morning. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

He gave a disappointed look. He'd been expecting a more supportive reaction from me. I gave the best I could.

That night, I cried myself to sleep for the first time in years. I couldn't believe my failure. The pain inside forced tears past my eyes despite the many times I'd wiped them away. Hadn't I shown how much I was devoted to him? I'd spent so much time with him. I'd shared so many experiences with him. Why didn't he see? I loved him. I LOVED him and he went after someone else.

Despite my breakdown, I was still resolved to stop the wedding. Duo and I still had some unfinished business. There was no way I was going to let him go without a real fight.

I had helped him find the rings, get a tuxedo, and helped with the arrangements like a real best man should. Of course Duo would ask his best friend to be his best man. I didn't want to disappoint him in any way. There was no room for slack now.

While he was going to have a bachelor party before the wedding, I gave him a personal present and invited him to Earth to ride down the snowy slopes. I'd rented out a cabin with a great view of the natural lakes and mountains. Duo squealed hilariously when I told him the present I'd gotten for him.

He'd never played in the snow before. There was no snow in the colonies and when he'd been in earth, he'd been to busy fighting a war to enjoy nature's gifts. Hilde had been hesitant to let him go, especially since it meant leaving him alone for the weekend with me. I gave her a intentional look. She was only hesitating because she was afraid of losing him.

Seeing my smug face, she straightened up and conceded. She hugged Duo and gave him a long kiss right in front of my eyes. "Ok, go have fun." She told him. Hilde was determined to never let me taste the satisfaction of winning. Duo whopped and grinned at me before scooping up the small woman and twirling her around.

"Just be careful, ok?" I didn't miss the look she gave toward my direction and she told him. Be careful of me. "I trust you."

The cabin was comely and warm by the time we'd arrived. I carried in some of the bags and turned around to help Duo with his. He was nowhere behind me.

"Duo?" I stepped outside in the freezing cold to find him laying flat on his back in the snow. "Duo, what are you doing?" I asked. He was waving his arms and legs around in a peculiar fashion.

"Making a snow angel." He told me as he quickened his pace. I watched in amusement until he stopped and gingerly hopped out of the shape he'd molded.

"I don't see anything." I admitted, looking at the outline he'd formed. He came over to my side and pointed at certain shapes in the snow.

"Look, that's the wings, and that's the robe part." He spent a minute trying to describe what he wanted me to see and I spent the time staring at him. In the frosty weather, Duo's cheeks, nose, and ears and turned bright pink. He was wrapped snugly in a thick jacket with a long scarf and adorable cap with a poofy thing on top. All I wanted to do at the moment was to grab onto him and hug him for the rest of the weekend.

He pushed me into the snow and I made a small startled sound as I crashed and sank into the soft snow. Duo laughed at my behavior. "Go on, Make a snow angel. It's fun!"

He jumped to a spot beside me and tried to give me directions. "Move your hands like this, and your legs like this. God, I can't believe you've never heard of this. I've never seen snow in the colony but even I've heard of this." He bantered. Hn.

We played around in the snow until our clothes had been soaked and my lips had turned blue and his teeth were chattering.

"Let's go inside and get changed." I told him. "I'll make some hot chocolate." He agreed quickly at the promise of the sweet drink.

Our vacation had been memorable One of the sweeter memories in my lifetime.

I took him for a hike and we actually found a cave with a hibernating bear in it. I smiled at the awe on Duo's face. We went sledding, skiing, snowboarding, and even had a snowball fight. We played like children, running around the trees and shrieking with laughter. Every smile, every bout of laughter made my heart swell, reminding me how much I loved this man the man who was promised to someone else.

"It's almost Christmas." Duo commented as we settled before the fire place. I handed him a mug of warm coffee and settled next to him on the couch. Away from the city, traffic, smog, and Hilde, I had relaxed and was feeling very comfortable with Duo. "It's been almost four years since the war ended. I can't believe time flew by so quickly." Duo sighed into his mug. "It feels almost as if all of it had happened yesterday."

"Then only yesterday, you would have still loved me." I murmured sadly to myself.

"What?" I closed my eyes in a grimace as I realized I'd spoke aloud. "Who told you that?" Duo demanded to know. His eyes had grown impeccably wide.

"Hilde told me you used to have a crush on me." I spoke softly. This was not the way I had planned our conversation.

There was a tense minute before Duo smiled crookedly and he blushed. "Yeah." He admitted. "It doesn't bother you, does it?" He questioned me cautiously. His eyes searched mine, in question. I was caught by his cobalt stare and felt a lump form in my throat. How could such a simple look drive me toward the edge of desperation?

"No, it doesn't bother me at all." I replied with resolve. Deciding to take the situation to my advantage, I took his mug and my own and placed it aside. I edged closer toward Duo and saw his eyes flicker around the room in an apprehensive gesture. "It would not bother me at all if you STILL felt the same way." I told him.

This was it. This was his way of getting out of the trap he'd set for himself. All he had to do was admit that he still had feelings for me and then he could leave Hilde and be with me. Our faces had grown close enough that I could hear his hurried breath. All I had to do was tilt my head a little and I could kiss him, press his supple, wet lips against my own, taste him, take his breath away but I wouldn't do it, not until I had his permission.

"Heero." Duo said my name softly. "I used to have a crush on you." He confessed. "But that was a long time ago. I grew up and moved on." He turned his head away, rejecting me gently. He'd moved on toward Hilde.

I expelled a shaky breath of air and backed off. Somehow, I couldn't force myself to come clean to him and admit my own feelings. I needed some semblance of hope.

We came home and resumed our friendship like it had always been. At Duo's bachelor party, I moped in a corner while his friend all partied, drank and had fun. Even the rest of the gundam pilots, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had come. They were also Duo's closest friends. I was pleased to see some familiar faces. They'd matured and changed a lot as well all for the better. It was almost as if we were in the war again, hanging out together like the comrades we had been.

As if sensing my turmoil, Quatre turned to look at me and I set a blank expression, intimidating and forcing him to avoid any tampering. I didn't want to ruin Duo's party. I could just sit there and wallow in self-pity as everyone else congratulated him for getting married to a wonderful girl. I almost gagged on the words.

The wedding was a "great" event. Pardon my sarcasm. It was all white and flowery. Duo was practically beaming rays of sunshine from his place at the altar as he said his vows to Hilde. When they kissed as husband and wife, I bit my lip slightly and looked down at my shoes, wishing it was over already.

Duo thanked me for being an awesome best man. He told me he couldn't have managed everything if I hadn't been there. I hugged him back, my arms lingering around him just a little more than they should have. Oh Duo, if only you know how much you were breaking my heart.

I was hoping they'd finally figure out how unfit they were for each other and divorce, but it didn't seem likely. Every time he came over to hang out at my place, his skin was positively glowing with contentment. He was so happy to have a life without me. I couldn't believe how much he was infatuated with that woman.

He was always spouting nice things about her, like how generous she was, how polite and likable she was. I didn't see any of it, but I kept my mouth shut, gritting my teeth in annoyance.

It just wasn't fair. If only he'd have given me a chance, I would have proven to be twice as better as she was. It wasn't fair!

One thing I was glad for was that, even though he married, he remained my best friend. Being bound to Hilde didn't stop him from dropping by to say Hi to me or to hang out.

Two years later, Duo came over one day looking absolutely helpless. His attire was in sloppy and tired. Hilde and he had been trying to conceive a child. No matter how many times they tried, she never got pregnant. Maybe God had answered my prayers.

I felt immediately guilty for my snide thoughts when Duo told me that she couldn't conceive children because she had ovarian cancer.

I hadn't prayed for that. I wasn't that shameless.

She'd just gotten her test results and he didn't know what to do. He was scared and distressed so he came to the only place he knew could help him: Me.

I held him, rubbed his back and soothed him as he babbled on about her condition. I told him that everything was going to be ok.

I was wrong. After numerous surgeries and treatments, she grew even worse. The doctors said that the cancer had spread too far, and they couldn't do anything further to help her. She was bedridden for the remainder of her short life under the support of the hospital equipment.

Duo grew gaunt (almost as much as Hilde had become) in the months that passed. He was overcome with worry and grief over his sick wife. I couldn't bear to see him in such a condition. Even when he was married, I hadn't given up. My love for him was so strong that I couldn't let him go. I was determined to prove my love.

Since the time I'd moved to live near Duo, I hadn't betrayed him like he had done to me. I hadn't courted anyone else but him. For years. That's how true and devoted I was to him. And even if he never noticed in his entire lifetime, it would be ok, because I would never settle for second best like he had. I'd be true to him as well as myself.

Duo used to be by Hilde's side day and night, watching over her, afraid that he'd lose her any minute. I persuaded him to go home and get some rest. I reasoned that Hilde wouldn't have liked it if he wore himself out like this over her and he gave in.

I took him home, cleaned his messy, unkempt house, and cooked him the perfect dinner only a perfect soldier could have made. I proved to him how much more I was able to do than his wife and he only picked at my food without an appetite.

When he should have been by his wife's side, I urged him to relax a little and take some time off. The less time he spent with her, the less he would feel obligated to her. I didn't understand why he was feeling so much misery over her. Was she really worth all that pain?

I don't want to seem like a heartless bastard. Yes, I felt sorry for her condition. I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone. I wasn't a complete ass. But the way he was hurting himself over it all. I knew Hilde. She'd always glared at me whenever I was around. She had a stuck-up attitude. The woman was a jealous and possessive lover. Why couldn't he see the bad things I could? She didn't deserve half the grief Duo was feeling for her.

The day of the funeral, Duo leaned on me for support. He lost all his strength as he saw her in the casket. His hair was in a clean, orderly braid. He was dressed in a fine suit that showed off his height and frame. But his face was a wreck. His cheeks were wet and stained with tears that were still there from last night. His nose was red from constantly rubbing it against tissue to block the runny liquid from smearing everywhere.

Duo was an utter wreck. He held onto me, crying into my neck, trusting me to comfort him. Even I had to feel the sadness. Hilde and I had never been on good terms, but seeing Duo in this shape made me sad. I didn't like seeing him hurt. Duo should never have to suffer like this. He didn't deserve the pain and sadness.

They cremated her body just as she had wished and Duo watched through wet, long, curled lashes. His hands were clenched tightly on mine and I squeezed it gently to remind him that I was still there for him.

Everyone had come to the funeral Even Noin and Lady Une. They hadn't known her extremely well, but she was Duo Maxwell's wife.

We went to earth to finish the last of her wishes. She wanted her ashes to be scattered by the seaside. Duo smiled as he read her will. Hilde always had such a free nature about herself. She wanted to fly like the wind along the sea breeze.

Duo walked down the sandy slope on his own accord. He'd let his hair loose to feel the winds run through it. The ends of his locks were snapping and licking around him as if they were a life force of their own.

At the beach, I pulled out the envelope I'd kept securely in my pocket. Hilde had given it to me in her will. I wasn't supposed to open it until we had reached the end of our destination. Glancing quickly at Duo, who stood near the shore, holding the urn carefully in his arms, I dragged a finger along the small opening and ripped the envelope open.

It was a piece of plain stationary paper. Hilde's writing was in big, loopy letters: "Please take care of him."

It was simple sentence, but it struck me to the core. I'd expected a long-winded letter full of malicious words towards me, but it was anything but that. I stared at the words a little longer, trying to cope with her true character. Just a simple sentence revealed that Hilde was not a mean and malicious person as I had always believed. True she had been particularly nasty to me at times, but that was because I was threatening her with every single one of my actions.

Her simple plea attested to how strong her love for Duo was. She was willing to let an arch rival comfort him. She wanted me of all people to care for him. I was stunned by it.

"Heero?" Duo called out for me. He regarded me curiously, noticing my bewildered expression as I gripped the letter in a death grip.

Tucking it back into my pocket, I came over to his side, right along the edge so the faint waves barely touched us. "Are you ready?" I asked.

His face seemed sad but he nodded resolutely. I stood beside him as he held the urn out and lifted the lid slowly. Duo tilted the vase and the black ashes spilled out slowly and were carried away by the wind's currents out towards the vast, deep, blue ocean. They scattered everywhere until there was nothing left in the vase.

With a muffled sob, Duo suddenly collapsed. He fell to his knees and they hit the soft sand with a dull thud. All his strength and energy had withered away. Knowing what I knew about Hilde now, the sound was so filled with sorrow. My heart wrenched, twisting into a knot. I felt sick to my stomach.

He really did love her. All that time I doubted him, trying to understand why he could ever feel anything toward that woman -- he really did love her. And I… I had been so wrong.

All this time I had claimed to love him. I had claimed to be able to provide him so much more, but instead, I had proved that my love was not strong enough. If I had loved him as much and Hilde had, I would have let him go. All this time when I had been so sure of the strength of my love and devotion, it was hardly comparably to theirs.

Seeing him happy with the one he loved should have made me happy was well.

As I knelt beside Duo, comforting the crying man with a hand on his shoulder, I felt tears of my own start to slip. They weren't for Hilde, but for me as I realized how poorly and pathetically foolish I had been all this time.

It was obvious now, why he had chosen someone else over me…