Rating: NC-17
Pairings: 2x1
Warning: Dark, angst, NCS

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are copyright Bandai Inc, and the other owners of Gundam Wing. This story contains dark scenes and non-consensual sex. If that bothers you, don't continue!

Author's notes: Follows the war. Heero has been placed in an institution.

The Steel Breeze
by Mikkeneko

He blinked, and rolled his head a little, trying to bring the room into focus. He could see the banks of machines, painted in shades of blurry blue-gray, not completely dark -- never completely dark -- but lit only by the faces of the monitors and alarms set into the walls.

They were afraid of him, the doctors. He knew that and he knew the reason, too, even if he couldn't remember it very well just now. He only remembered shadows, rippling and moving, and something hard and metal in his hand -- blood on his face. A consuming rage and a much deeper, cold and alien fear -- not the familiar fear, a natural chemical reaction to danger, but the terrible knowledge that the only thing he knew how to do was now wrong.

But he still didn't remember what he'd done.

...something... bad...

Whatever he had done -- whatever he had done was bad enough that they put him here, in this room halfway between a hospital room and a prison. Bad enough that he was locked into this thing, a barely padded table with restraints built in so heavy and strong that he could not have broken out of them ever if he'd been at his full strength. And he was no longer allowed to be that strong. Not ever again.

He couldn't focus enough to read the glowing numbers of the clock on the wall; or maybe he could see them, but had forgotten how to read. It wasn't worth the effort, and he let his head fall again, sagging in the grips of the metal pinions that pulled his arms away from his body like wings.

Once, he'd been a... he'd been... He thought he used to be something else. Something that was special and admired instead of feared. But he'd changed. No, that was wrong. He didn't change. He stayed just the same, but the world changed, into something that didn't need him any more. A place where everything he'd learned, everything he'd believed, everything he was suddenly became wrong.

A girl's face flickered through his memory, concerned, intense, pitying. And a name; Relena. She'd cared about him once; maybe that was why she'd ordered him put here. She still came to visit him, occasionally, but he didn't remember much of the visits. They were always careful to dose him beforehand, just in case.

He tried to think of her again, but her face had fled from his mind. Pity. He didn't want her pity. No, that wasn't quite it. He didn't... he didn't... Maybe he didn't deserve her pity. He wasn't quite sure; only that he was rather sad to have it, and he wouldn't have missed it.

She hasn't come to visit him in... weeks. Has it been months? She went on. And left him behind.

They all left him behind.

He didn't hear the first few sounds, but when the door suddenly hissed and unlocked, he became aware that he'd heard something coming already. Nobody should be here, not at this time of night; the doctors wouldn't return till well into the morning, and the security guards never came inside. He raised his head again and made out a blurry shadow, standing in the doorway before the deeper shadows of the hallway.

For a moment he could only stare, trying to make his mind process something which should have been impossible. When the person moved, coming slowly into the room and letting the door fall shut behind them, he tried to speak, but his tongue was too thick and his mouth too dry, and nothing came out. He could only stare.

Duo looked good, a part of him observed. He was taller. He had grown, where Heero had not. His body had finished that final stage of adolescent gawkiness, and turned to all slim and graceful efficiency. His face had lost the last of the cheerful roundness of childhood, and when Heero's eyes drew too near to Duo's, he found himself caught by the look there.

...like black holes in the sky.

There was some emotion gathering in the darkness, something strong and deep and violent, and a sudden spike of insight told him that whatever remained of his life and sanity might depend on him deciphering it.

"I feel like I should be gloating, you know," Duo said. His voice was cheerful the way that crows at a slaughter field were cheerful.

He tried to speak again, and again he couldn't force his voice to work. He made only a small sound. Duo pushed away from the door frame and came towards him, his steps making only the barest of sounds on the tile. " 'Cause I always knew you'd end up like this, Heero Yuy. There you were, everybody's hero, shining like the sun. And I always knew that sooner or later, it was all gonna crash down around you and leave you like this."

Duo stopped in front of him, and tilted his head, his hungry eyes running the length of Heero's hospital-gown draped body, from ankle to crown to wrist. "And here you are," he said. He leaned one arm casually against the metal surface Heero lay spread on, and Heero flinched like a needle going in. That got a twitch of Duo's lips, a flicker in his eyes.

"They've got you on some good stuff, don't they?" Duo said softly, tilting his head to take Heero in. "I heard that J gave the formula. Nothing they had was keepin' you down, was it? So he gave them the right stuff, for your freak metabolism. I guess he woulda known, huh?"

"Duo," Heero managed to croak out, on his next try. Now that the other -- the other was this close, he could see him, focus on him without needing to strain his neck or his eyes. Duo looked good -- Duo looked damn good, and the sight made some terrible emotion wash through his body.

"Heheh," Duo chuckled, but there was no humor behind it. "Been a while since we met like this, hasn't it, Hee-chan?"

The mocking tone, and the old word brought the feeling back again, this time distinctly recognizable as pain. It was almost enough to revive him. "Get these things off of me," he said, and his words were recognizable, if hoarse.

All the smile and mockery flashed away in an instant, and before he even had time to react Duo had hit him across the face, and held his mouth in a bruising grip. "I don't take orders from you, Heero Yuy," he snarled. "I didn't back then, and I sure as hell ain't gonna start now."

He hadn't felt the blow, but now he felt the ache creeping in. He licked his lips, but didn't taste blood. Not unless his senses were playing tricks on him again.

"You're still a fucking prick." Duo pushed away from the table, and began to pace the room. He saw the braid snap out behind Duo, from where it had been stuck into a pocket for safekeeping, and then the pain washed through him again.

He remembered the last time he'd seen Duo. Back during the war, back when things still made sense. Before everything went crazy. Before he went crazy.

He remembered Duo lying on his side the bed, in a white t-shirt and blue sweatpants, eyes closed. His hair came out in wisps from its braid, and floated in front of his face. He remembered the small smile on Duo's face when he sat down on the bed beside him, the way that Duo seemed to turn towards him like a flower into the sun. He remembered leaning down to kiss Duo, and Duo pushing him away.

He remembered Duo lying on his back in the bed, eyes open to the ceiling, arms lax by his side, blood on the mattress. He remembered again the feeling of satisfaction that came over him as he stood beside the bed then, that ingrained sense of accomplishment he felt whenever he looked down on a dead body that he'd made.

"What do you want?" The words were barely audible, but there they were. Duo whirled towards him again, fury now plain on his face.

"What do I want? There are a lot of things i want, most of which involve you, writhing on the floor. I look at you now --" His lips curled, and he took a step away. "I wonder what I ever thought I saw that convinced me you were anything other than that cold-blooded snake that has to be locked up here for the safety of the world."

That didn't help any. "What are you doing here?" he tried instead.

"I don't know. I haven't decided yet." Duo took a few steps back towards him. "I'm thinking I'm here to do what I shoulda done the first time I saw you. Only I don't yet know whether that's to slit your throat and let you bleed out on the table, or just walk away and let the doctors have you."

He slumped further against his bonds, though he didn't think he even could. "Do you really hate me that much?" he whispered.

Duo laughed, a harsh and grating sound. "Fuck yeah I do, Heero. What do you expect? I put all my trust -- my faith -- I gave everything to you and you fucking stabbed me in the back. What's there left for me to do but hate you?"

He closed his eyes, because sight hurt. He tried to work his throat, to say something, but speech failed him. He head Duo moving and opened his eyes again, to the strange, frightening light in Duo's eyes as he approached him. "Did you get off on making me helpless, Heero?" he said softly. "Did my screaming turn you on? I never did find out if you actually liked it, you know, or if it was just another part of that stupid goddamned mission of yours. So tell me, Heero. Did you enjoy raping me that night?"

"Duo...!" His muscles bunched and shivered, as he fought for control of himself, fought to reclaim his traitorously weak body. He barely remembered that night -- oh no -- he did, but now he couldn't fathom what he'd been thinking. What he'd been feeling. Only that it had all made such perfect sense at the time.

He felt something run down his chin, and belatedly realized it was blood. At first he thought Duo'd hit him again, but no, he hadn't moved. It was his own teeth that had caused that blood. Now Duo seemed entranced by it, by the sight, and as he bent over him on the table, blocking out his sight, he felt his own trembling increase.

Something warm touched his face, and it shocked him with the immediacy -- he hadn't felt anything so clearly in weeks -- in -- in a long time. He gave a little cry, parting his lips, and felt Duo move, felt Duo's tongue press against his lips and a sharp pain when it pressed into the new wound.

Then Duo's hands were on his body, and he went absolutely still, too long habit gained from the cold and flinching hands of the doctors. But Duo's touch was nothing like theirs -- Duo's touch was -- searing hot and fierce and not in the least bit afraid of him. Skin on skin for the first time in so long, began to make his flesh tremble, the heat seeming to burn him right down to the bone.

He shuddered, and turned his head away, but Duo only took that as an opportunity to bend his neck and put savaging teeth to his throat. Duo's braid slithered over his shoulder to land with a soft thump on his chest, and he took to staring at that, mesmerized, trying to reconcile memory with sense.

Duo pushed off of the table a bit, for a moment filling his vision. Then Duo vanished, and he was seized by a panic whose source he could not fathom. Craning desperately, he caught sight of Duo moving about the room, flipping switches, pulling at wires. He stared uncomprehendingly at the metal box which stared back at him, wires loose and dangling and glinting faintly silver in the blue light. The needle pulled out of his arm and he gasped with pain, feeling a terrible sliding sensation as several inches of tubing pulled out from under his skin. A flash of eyes and the brief wink of a grin showed in his vision; "I want you to be awake for this," Duo said.

Then hands were on the flimsy hospital gown, tearing it away from his body. The elastic caught around his hips, and when it snapped, stung his skin. The pain was shocking, somehow, and he found his eyes tearing up as Duo knelt above him on the table.

"Stop this," he said to Duo, and his voice sounded listless even to his own ears.

Duo grinned up at him, an expression like death's head. Duo's hands were moving over his body in a way that wasn't about generating pleasure, at least not for him. "What if I don't?" he said.

Belatedly, it occurred to him that maybe he should call for help; but he knew, even if he could have gotten enough of a voice for it, that nobody would come to his aid. Everyone was already gone and left him; only Duo was here.

And now Duo was pushing his legs apart, hands hot and hard on the skin of his legs. His ankles came up against the limits of the restraints, and he wondered for a moment if Duo would remove the encumbering things. But no; that didn't seem to interest him at all. Duo just pushed his thighs apart as far as they would go, and took his hips in a hard grip, pulling them up to expose him fully.

He shut his eyes, and felt something running down to his temples. It cooled quickly, until there was another, hotter touch along the cooling trail. He looked again and saw Duo staring, hand outstretched to take that drop of moisture onto his fingers. After a moment Duo looked back at him, and his eyes reflected the light, dimly. But then they hardened, darkness once again.

Duo thrust a hard finger inside of him, and a small sound leaked from his lips. It didn't hurt as much as he was expecting, or perhaps he was only numb; but as Duo kept on going he slowly came to realize that it was the drugs that made him like this; the same drugs that made his muscles so weak and loose made every part of him helpless, passive, open to any invasion.

He didn't think that there was any new level of wretched he could be brought to, but Duo, as always, proved him wrong. With difficulty, he swallowed, and tried to speak again. "Duo," he said, trying to reach out, now, at last; "I'm sorry... for... I didn't know --"

"Shhhh." The words were oddly soothing, and he tried to figure out if that was real or mockery. Duo sat back on his haunches, and undid his pants; he pulled out his already hard erection and stroked it, eyes moving distantly over Heero's body. "You will now."

There was nothing he could say to that, nothing he could do, no more resistance left in him. He could only hang there, shaking in his bonds, while his body disobeyed him and laid him open to Duo.

He heard a tearing sound, a sharp crinkling, and tried to figure out what Duo was doing. Something thin and papery flashed in the dimness, and he saw Duo's death-head grin as he took the small condom from its packet. "Better be careful," he said, as he carefully unrolled the thing over his darkened, stiff erection, and now the mockery was only too evident. "Who knows what you could pick up, in a place like this."

Duo didn't given him any chance to answer; he didn't give him any chance to be ready. As soon as the condom went on, Duo settled against his hole and began to push in, his impatience clearly felt. The feel of the lubricated latex felt strange inside him, cool and impersonal, but at least there was no sharp and painful burning. That was cold comfort, though, and even the absence of physical torment did nothing to lessen the misery of being helpless, of being used, of having this done to him with no thoughts in the mind of the other except hatred and lust. And with that came understanding, the kind that hurt more than anything else.

"Duo," the cry was ripped from his throat, and sounded little more than a rasp. Duo didn't answer him, didn't even slow down. Duo didn't wait for him to be ready, or for any kind of permission; he just started to fuck him, hard and fast, pounding him into the table and yanking him against the restraints that began to cut into his flesh.

Maybe it was the new understanding, that was a kind of emptiness; or maybe it was just the long, long time without touch, without kindness, without Duo, that brought his hungry flesh to crave Duo's, to respond to that primal rhythm without any conscious desire on his part. He shook with each thrust, battered by a windstorm of feelings that he had once worked so very, very hard to suppress, and now assaulted him with no defenses left. Small noises left his throat, tiny grunts and whimpers that were a counterpart to Duo's unabashed moans of enjoyment above him.

It seemed to go on a very, very long time, before Duo finally slammed home into him, with a shout that he dizzily thought should have brought all the building's security down onto them. Nothing happened, though, when Duo finished out his orgasm and then sank down to the table, a body sprawled across his own.

Nobody spoke. He lay still, heart beating too fast, muscles as tense as he could make them. His erection lay throbbing painfully trapped between them, but Duo ignored it as he straightened, pushed away from his body and pulled out. He winced as Duo left him; he was still forced wide open, and felt achingly cold and empty without Duo there.

Duo simply cleaned himself up, sitting up and climbing off the table again, pulling off the condom and negligently tossing it aside. He numbly wondered what the morning nurse would think of it, or of the hospital gown lying torn and tattered on the floor, the needles and monitor pads scattered. Even had he been free, he didn't think he could have moved.

Duo leaned over him again, and when he forced himself to look up into Duo's face, he thought that maybe his eyes had changed. Large and dark, still, but looking at him and not through him now. "Come on, stranger," Duo said, hardly loud enough to hear. "There's nowhere to go from here but up."

There was a click, and then a clang, and his hands feel like dead weights to his sides. He barely knew what to do with them any more, and when he tried to move, he would have fallen off the table if Duo hadn't grabbed him.

He tried to speak. He looked up at Duo and the words wouldn't come. Instead he swallowed and slumped against Duo, and something about that contact let him speak again.

"Why?" he whispered.

Duo laughed. It wasn't so much like a crow, now. "I dunno," he said. "But I think I see someone, which I only saw once before." Duo shifted and propped him up against the table, which helped. "And I think maybe I can bring him out this time, if it's just me an' him, and nothing else around to interfere. That's how I get what I wanted."

He closed his eyes. He thought he might cry. "Forgive me," he choked out instead. Duo's arms closed on his shoulders, and shook him a little, hard.

"Hey," he snapped. "Don't think it's gonna be easy. This is only the beginning. I'm gonna make you pay it back in full, and you're gonna take it, and this time, you do what I say, or it's over and you go back here."

He didn't move, and after a minute Duo kept on talking. "I talked already with one of the doctors," he said thoughtfully, "and he's ready to release custody of you to me. They're talking about givin' me permanent authority. Providin' and all, that I can keep you under control and make sure you don't hurt anyone any more. Understand?"

He didn't, not really, but he nodded anyway. For the first time in a long, long, time, his head was clear. It was up to Duo now, he understood that much. It was never up to him. Because he hadn't changed, since the end of the war; the world had changed instead. The world had gone away from him and left him behind.

But Duo stayed.