Pairing: 2x1
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: Approx. 2,600
Warnings: Language, guns, vampires
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters, nor do I make any money off of this story.

Notes: Thanks to the awesome Master of the Rebels for beta'ing this for me.

Can't
by IvvyMoon

Heero was awake and pointing the gun he kept under his pillow before the intruder could even finish his sentence. He didn't understand how the man had managed to get past his security system, let alone walk into his room without Heero being aware of it, but he had every intention of finding out before handing him over to the police. Considering he owned a security company and had created the system himself, he took the breach rather personally.

He heard an amused, sinister laugh. "Your bullets vill not vork on me! I am... Nosferatu!"

Heero arched one eyebrow. "Delusions of being a vampire or not, I think you'll notice a hole the size of a cantaloupe in the back of your head."

There was a short silence. "The size of a cantaloupe, you say?" Not altogether surprisingly, the horrible accent was gone, although there remained a hint of a lisp.

"Yes."

"Dude. You are so taking the fun out of all of this." Heero had excellent night vision, and even though the room was virtually pitch black, he could make out his would-be assailant crossing his arms childishly.

"Against the wall. You try to run, I'll shoot you. You try to attack me, I'll shoot you. You try to --"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I so much as breathe, and you'll shoot me. Geez, trigger happy much?" Grumbling under his breath, he stomped over to the wall and leaned against it while Heero sat up, keeping the gun trained on him, and turned on his bedside light.

Considering all the drama the man had already displayed, Heero wasn't surprised to see the tuxedo. Or the cape. Or the gloves. Or even the obviously fake teeth peeking over the guy's bottom lip. He was surprised by how handsome the lunatic was, however, extremely so, and he considered the view a small consolation for the interrupted sleep.

"How did you get through my security?"

The guy blinked. "Huh? What security?"

Heero frowned, his finger twitching. "The motion sensors, the video cameras, the pressure plates under the stairs, the --"

"Oh, yeah." He shrugged. "That kind of stuff doesn't work on me. I can get in and out of anywhere, no problem."

Heero's eyes narrowed. Was he some kind of super-thief? No, that didn't make sense. He hadn't said he'd disabled anything, hadn't seemed to notice Heero's multiple lines of defense at all. And what kind of burglar woke up the inhabitant of the house by telling him he wanted to suck his blood? As a matter of fact, what kind of deranged individual went around dressed like an old movie vampire, breaking into people's homes in the middle of the night in the first place?

"I'm not crazy." The intruder started tapping his fingers against his arm. "It's just, you're getting that look, but I'm really not, you know."

Heero didn't know if it was better or worse that the man apparently had enough experience doing that kind of thing to recognize "the look."

"My name's Duo, by the way. In case you're curious. And yeah, I know, it's not the most awe-inspiring name ever, like, you don't hear creepy music in the background when someone says 'Duo, the vampire,' but I --"

He hadn't heard of any rash of break-ins, and considering his line of business, it was his job to know. He picked up the phone on the bed stand.

"Who are you calling? 'Cause I totally didn't sign on for a party."

Heero's eyes narrowed at the static. It wasn't the absolute silence of a cut line, but apparently... Duo... had somehow managed to block any calls. Damn. The guy was good. Heero was almost tempted to offer him a job.

"Hello? Do you always ignore your guests like this? It's like I'm talking to thin air."

"Shut up." Or he might have been if Duo hadn't broken into his house and wasn't so damn talkative.

"Okay, now that's just rude."

It was at moments like this that Heero wished his gun wasn't permanently cocked, because he was sure the sound of the safety being drawn back would have quieted Duo up right away. At least, it always worked like that in movies, and Duo seemed the type of guy to be impressed with the appearance of things versus the reality.

Heero got out of bed, knowing he'd be more intimidating standing than he was sitting in the bed, even if he was only half-clothed since he preferred to sleep bare-chested. He took a few steps closer to Duo, although he made sure to keep enough distance between them. He didn't want Duo to get any ideas about trying to disarm him, which would just end up with Duo in pain, perhaps too much for Heero to find out how he'd had managed to subvert his security and block the phones. That would be a nuisance.

"Who sent you? Was it Oz?" It would be just like Zechs to send someone to infiltrate his house and boast later that he'd been able to get through his main competitor's system. Although why Zechs would have wanted Duo to dress so oddly, he didn't underst-- well... this was Zechs after all.

"Huh?"

Heero's eyes narrowed. Duo looked sincerely confused, but Zechs wouldn't have hired someone who would panic and talk if he were captured. At least, not immediately. "Why are you here?"

"Uh... because I was... hungry? And... you smell good?" Duo was looking at him as if he were the crazy one.

"I smell good."

"Well, yeah. You kind of have this citrusy --"

"That's your reason for being in my room."

"Er... why do I get the feeling that you're going to shoot me if I say yes?"

"I don't think you fully appreciate the danger you're in right now." Heero jabbed his gun forward a little closer for emphasis. "Things will not go well for you if you don't answer my questions. You broke into my house and threatened to assault me. Shooting you would be a clear case of self defense." Not that he would. Duo -- or whoever had sent him -- apparently hadn't wanted to physically harm Heero, otherwise, Duo would never have announced himself. It didn't even look like Duo was carrying any weapons, although Heero still had to frisk him to find out for certain. So unless Duo suddenly attacked him, Heero had no intention of shooting him. Scaring him, however, was another matter, especially considering the flack he was going to get from his contacts at the station over the whole situation. They would never let him live down the fact that a costumed robber had managed to get into his house.

"Now, Heero." Duo put his hands slowly up in the air. "Calm down --"

Heero's voice was flat and cold when he said, "You know my name."

Duo's eyes widened, and he started to look around. "Uh, well, see, I --"

"Who sent you?"

"No one sent me."

"You have until the time I count to five, and then I'm going to shoot you, starting with your left foot. One."

"No one sent me, I swear!"

"Two."

"I'm serious, man! I run and hide, but I never tell a lie!"

"Three."

"I don't want a hole the size of a cantaloupe in my body!"

"Four."

"Think of the children!" Duo cried, crossing his arms in front of his head and turning his face to the side as if that would keep the bullet at bay.

Heero stared. "What?"

"What what?" Duo peered at him from under the dubious safety of his arm, blinking quickly. It had to be a trick of the light, but Duo's eyes looked almost purple, and he found himself staring at them, mesmerized almost from their color and the intensity of personality behind them. Heero was inconveniently reminded once more just how striking Duo was, no matter how outrageously he acted. He hadn't noticed before, but Duo's hair was collected in a thick braid that ran past his shoulders, clearly visible now from his hunched over position. Heero had the sudden urge to slide his fingers into it, to unwind the braid until Duo's hair surrounded them both. He was suddenly acutely aware that he was half naked.

He shook his head once, just to clear his inappropriate thoughts. It had been a long time since his last lover, but it hadn't been that long.

"What children?"

"Huh? Oh, I don't know. I was just throwing stuff out there to get you to not shoot me." Duo grinned, although he didn't lower his hands, and the absurdity of it all made Heero feel ridiculous. He sighed.

"Just tell me who sent you."

"Dude, seriously, no one sent me." Duo cautiously began to straighten. "I was hungry, you smelled good, I followed you home, and okay, maybe looked through your mail while I was downstairs, but you can't blame a guy for wanting to know a little bit more about the person he's going to have dinner with. First dates are already uncomfortable enough."

It was Heero's turn to blink. "You do realize you are calmly discussing eating me." And he should be more disturbed by it, but he couldn't take Duo seriously, and thus, he couldn't take the threat seriously.

"Not eat! Just drink your blood." Duo smiled winsomely. "A really little bit of blood. I don't need much. And then I was hoping to have a nice conversation, get to know each other better, maybe go on a few dates, you never know where this sort of thing can go."

"You're an escapee from a mental hospital, aren't you?" He finally lowered his gun to a more comfortable position, although it was still pointed in Duo's direction.

"I am not!" Duo pouted, the effect somewhat ruined by the overhanging fake teeth.

"Then why are you convinced you're a vampire?"

"I am a vampire!" Heero almost expected him to stomp his foot, and his mouth twitched.

"I don't think real vampires wear tuxedos and capes and have fake teeth."

"Oh yeah? And just how many vampires do you know? 'Cause I know lots!"

Heero eyebrows rose. "Look, Duo --"

"And this isn't my fault! People have expectations! I have to look the part!" Duo flared his cape out dramatically, which almost got him shot, and stood tall, chin lifted with a haughty, cool look on his face, lips parted slightly to show off his fangs to best effect. Heero was impressed. Duo almost looked the part. With the exception of the ill-fitting tuxedo and the fact that one canine was a little lower on his lip than the other as if it were coming undone, Heero might have been tempted to believe.

"You do realize that making sudden movements around a man with a gun is hazardous to your health, don't you?"

Duo deflated. "Hmph! You just have no appreciation of style, Heero! There are so many vampire movies out there, and people want a show nowadays with dinner. I mean, I know the tux is more old-school Hollywood, but trust me; this outfit is a lot better than the one I used to wear. It was all black and skin-tight leather, and do you know how hot leather gets in the summer? I was dying, dying, I tell you!"

Heero coughed slightly. The leather outfit sounded interesting actually.

"So just to be clear, you wear this outfit to seduce people?" Because if so, Duo really should have stayed with the leather.

"Well, not so much seduce as break the ice type of thing. You have to admit, it's a conversation starter."

Point. "And what made you think that I would even be interested?"

Duo leered. "Oh, I knew you'd be interested, baby. Kidding! Just kidding! Please don't shoot me."

Heero had to control the urge to roll his eyes. "I don't shoot people just for being a smartass."

"Ooh, good to know."

"However, there is an exception to every rule."

Duo's eyes widened, and he mimed zipping his lips, locking them, and then throwing away the key.

Heero did smile then, although he didn't mean to. There was just something about Duo... It was a very small smile, there for a flash and then gone, but Duo saw it.

"Ah ha! See! You do like me! Score!"

"I still think you're a deranged individual."

"But a cute deranged individual, right? Or better yet, a sexy deranged --what's that?"

Heero frowned, not understanding what he was referring to. "What's --"

And then the doorbell rang. Heero looked at Duo. Was that... how had Duo heard the person approaching the door? "That would most likely be the police I contacted when I hit the silent alarm button as I was turning on the light."

Duo started to look around frantically. "The police are here? You called the police on me, Heero?"

Heero felt an odd twinge of guilt, but he ignored it. "You broke into my home, Duo. Of course I called the police. But you didn't steal anything, and you didn't threaten me, and as long as you cooperate --"

"I needed more time! Why didn't you give me more time?" Duo took a step toward Heero, an anguished expression on his face.

There was no reason for it, but Heero found himself taking a step back. "Duo, what... time for what? What did you need time for?" His grip on the gun tightened.

"More time for you to remember."

"What do you mean --"

The doorbell rang again, followed by three loud knocks.

"I'm sorry, Heero. I can't go with the police, and I can't risk losing you if I leave and try to come back another day."

"Duo, you're trapped, you can't --"

"I'm sorry." And Duo... changed. There was some shift of his expression, some straightening of his posture, something, Heero didn't know what, but from one instant to the next, Duo looked completely different. The tuxedo, which had seemed to hang on his frame, now fit snugly, revealing broad shoulders and hinting at fluid muscles. He appeared taller, imposing almost, his face angular instead of softly rounded, his expression determined and somber. And his eyes... his eyes were...

Heero remembered thinking Duo had mesmerizing eyes and knew abruptly that it was a truer statement than he'd realized.

"Don't be afraid, Heero." Duo whispered the words in Heero's ears, and he had no recollection of Duo closing the distance between them. A tiny part of him was shouting, demanding he shove Duo away, shoot him, do something, anything, but the rest... Heero remained where he was, Duo catching the gun as it slipped through nerveless fingers. "I wanted the opportunity to woo you this time around, but alas, it was not to be."

The lisp was gone, Duo's voice deeper, and Heero wondered what he would see if Duo were to stand in front of him, if the canines would appear brighter than before, sharper. He could dimly make out shouting downstairs, the crash of the door being flung open.

"No time." Duo pressed his cheek to Heero's, his arms wrapping around him fiercely. The embrace was somehow familiar. "This will only hurt for a moment. And then we'll have all the time in the world."

"Wait," Heero murmured, even though he was yelling inside, screaming.

"I cannot. I cannot." And Duo lowered his head.