He knew it took approximately three minutes for Duo to remove himself from the car, close the door, step towards the house, turn back and reopen the car to extract his duffle bag or something that he'd initially forgotten, and wave hello to the elderly neighbour next door. Then he'd make it to the front step, only to head back down the driveway to the mailbox to check if it had been picked up. Then -- and ONLY then -- would he come inside, cheerfully calling out, "I'm home!"

Heero was ready. He sat straight up on the sofa, gathering together all of the papers he'd printed earlier that day, giving them one last flicker to make sure they were in order. Then he folded his arms and sat back, watching through the hallway to the front door. The door opened just as his watch beeped.

"I'm home!" Right on time. Heero watched as his lover toed off his sneakers and shrugged out of his jacket. His eyes narrowed as the man continued with his ritual, stretching his arms high above his head, fingers linked. Snapping noises issued forth from his spinal cord, and then Duo lowered his hands, giving them a final crack. He finished off by rotating his head from side to side, sighing as popping sounds echoed in the quiet. Heero cleared his throat.

"Can you come here for a moment?"

Duo jumped a bit in surprise, blinking as he turned around. "'Ro?" A grin. "You scared me, man. What's up?" His eyes took in Heero's determined stance and the piles of paper, and his own gaze turned wary. "Heero?"

"We need to talk." Heero indicated that Duo should sit next to him. Slowly, Duo moved forward, mimicking Heero's narrowed eyes.

"You know," he drawled slowly, as he settled himself on the couch. "...the words, 'we need to talk', are some of the scariest words in relationship history."

Heero ignored him, and handed him a stack of papers. "Here is the proof you told me to get, before I -- and I quote -- started 'bossing your sorry butt around'."

Duo blinked, momentarily confused. Then it hit him, and he let out a splutter of disbelieving laughter. He took the papers and leafed through them. "Are you serious?"

Heero nodded. "Yes. Popping your joints can potentially cause damage to the soft tissue, especially in your hands. You are pushing the joint in and out of position beyond it's normal physical range and this can cause a decrease in your grip. As a Preventer agent, this is a bad habit you can ill-afford."

Duo fingered the papers. "You went to all this trouble to make stop cracking my knuckles?"

"And your back and neck." Heero indicated to the other stacks. "See those papers for additional information."

With another chuckle, Duo tossed all of the papers back on the table, curling up next him. "You're crazy, you know that?"

"I believe Wufei has given you that distinction on numerous occasions." Heero leaned forward and pushed the papers into a neat pile. "Do you want to have arthritis when you're older?"

"That's an old wives tale."

"Not necessarily. Just because insufficient research has been done on the subject does not mean the theory itself is invalid. If you look here --" He was cut off by Duo firmly pressing his lips against his.

After a minute, he pulled away, and smirked at the Japanese boy. "You could have just asked me to stop doing it when I come home."

Heero frowned. "And you'd stop? Just like that?"

"Of course!" Duo launched himself off the couch. He gave him a teasing look. "I'll just make sure you're not around!" With that, he disappeared into the kitchen, presumably to begin making dinner.

Heero eyed the papers and then pulled another sheaf free. This one had diagrams of the cartilage and he'd cross-referenced it with how it would directly affect his trigger finger, as well as his manual dexterity when diffusing or connecting bombs and their wires.

And if that didn't work, he'd have Sally send over a similar paper, only this time with the official Preventer logo at the top. She understood the severity of the situation. Wufei did the same thing to her, after all.

Papers in hand, he stalked towards the kitchen. The battle wasn't over yet. The victory would eventually be his. It was for the health and safety of his most precious person.

....and as a bonus, he wouldn't have to listen to that disgusting sound ever again.