Archivist's note: This is part of a larger story arc, Echoes of the Rising Sun. The other parts of the arc can be found here.

-- 'Song of Hiroshima', Koki Kinoshita (English version by Ewan MacColl)

August 1945

Duo looked up from the book he was reading, glancing over at Heero who was frowning. "What's up?"

"The radio station in Hiroshima has stopped broadcasting," Heero said, his fingers already twirling the dials on his custom built valve radio set.

"Maybe it's your equipment?" Duo suggested, his attention returning to his book.

"It is functioning as it should." Heero shook his head. He had built the radio himself. Although they were no longer part of the war effort and both could be labeled deserters and imprisoned or worse for their beliefs and lifestyle, Heero had decided to put his training to good use. Slowly, over the past months, he had managed to beg, barter and save for the bits and pieces he needed, carefully obtaining some here and there but nothing from the same place. He and Duo had started a new life in France and the chance to build a future together could be placed in jeopardy by a wish to keep up with events in a country they had left behind. While the crystal set itself was not illegal, it had a few modifications such as intercept receivers and its specifications were closer to that of a field radio operator's wireless than one intended for domestic use.

And of course, there was the fact that Heero was using it to tune into both Allied and 'enemy' broadcasts, using his knowledge and codes leaked to him by their contacts to also eavesdrop on conversations that he should not have been privy to.

"That's odd." Heero turned up the volume and the set crackled. Usually, depending on atmospheric conditions, the overseas transmissions were very clear. Another few adjustments and a voice filled the room, speaking in Japanese. "The Japanese Broadcasting Corporation has noticed too. Apparently they are investigating."

"Could they be under attack?" Duo asked. It was only a matter of time before the Allies launched a strike in retribution for the attack on Pearl Harbor. The longer the war lasted, the more each side grew desperate for a means to end it. Duo did not regret what he had done, what he had given up to be here with Heero. He had long lost his illusions that there were any good or bad guys in this fight. While he did not agree in the slightest with the atrocities carried out by the likes of the Nazis, there was also no way in hell he would allow Heero to be interned in some camp just because his family had emigrated from Japan a couple of generations ago.

In war there were no victors, just people fighting for what they believed in, or trying to, despite the orders that came from above. More importantly they were trying to survive, while still managing to sleep nights in spite of what they had done.

Even now, two years later, Duo needed a light on to sleep. Once darkness fell, he was thrown back into the nightmares of his captivity, of Hilde being killed, of the blood, the fire, the death. Too much fucking death.

Heero understood. He always would. They both had their own darkness to work through, their own nightmares based in the horror of a reality that could not ever be totally forgotten. Holding each other at night helped; love and acceptance were a step in the healing process, but their wounds were too raw, and neither was even sure they had the luxury of a lifetime to walk the rest of that journey hand in hand.

"Maybe." Heero tapped his fingers on the table. "But..." He stopped, massaging his temples. "I'm not a man who believes in what I cannot see, but I have a very bad feeling about this."

"She'll be okay," Duo said softly. He put down his book, stood, and walked over to Heero, arms sliding around his waist.

When Duo had returned to the States, believing Heero to be dead, he and Wufei had tracked down Heero's mother. Duo figured that in doing that, it might help to make up for not being there for Heero. Wufei had discovered Duo's plan and offered to help. Although both Heero and Trowa had reassured Wufei that what had happened to them had not been his fault, Wufei was not one to turn his back on responsibility, or what he perceived to be a debt owed to someone he now considered a friend.

It had taken some persuasion to convince Heero's mother that they could help her to relocate to Japan and to live out the rest of the war with her family, rather than spend it stuck in some internment camp. She was American, she had insisted, why should she have to leave? Glancing around the camp had confirmed just how 'American' the government viewed her to be. Heero was not coming home, and the government had seized her possessions. She had family in Japan who cared, and a sister who had offered to take her in. The knowledge that Heero was dead had been the final decider.

Duo would never forget the look on her face when he had told her. The light had gone out of her eyes, her voice flat and dead when she had asked if he had died bravely for his country. Duo's reply had been a choked yes. His response later when he had discovered Heero was alive, a mixture of relief and anger for the months spent not knowing.

"She is not in Hiroshima," Heero said, matter of factly. He still had the tendency to bury his emotions when he could not deal with them. "Whatever has happened appears to have affected only that area." He adjusted more dials, listening intently for further news updates. Only possessing a very rudimentary understanding of the language, Duo waited impatiently for Heero to translate. "The Tokyo railway telegraph centre has confirmed that the main line has stopped working ten miles out of Hiroshima." Heero swore under his breath. "They can't raise the control centre, but there is no word of a large raid hitting the city. Something has happened. I know it."

A thought hit Duo and he paled. God no. It couldn't be what had happened. They and their friends had risked so much, and lost too much to prevent exactly this. Heero had not been the only one to fake his death or give up his home. Quatre, too, was in hiding, his refusal to help either side build an instrument of death and destruction, making him a traitor to both.

"That thought has occurred to me too," Heero said very quietly. He turned up the volume control, glaring at it, but music filled the air instead, bright and cheerful, mocking his need for knowledge. Not knowing was far worse. Duo could vouch for that.

"I never said anything," Duo protested, wondering when he had gotten that obvious. Heero knew him a little too well at times.

"You didn't have to." Heero leaned back into Duo's offered embrace. "It's a logical conclusion. We both know the realities of this war and what the human race is capable of doing in the name of peace or their own belief system." He sighed, shaking his head. "I read the specifications for this weapon, the same way you did, when we were assigned to the mission. I've also spoken to Quatre about it in detail. He does not pull punches."

"There are Americans living in that city, civilians." Duo threaded his fingers through Heero's hair, stroking it, losing himself in the soft wild strands. "Kids. All the kids who were sent there to avoid the camps, about five thousand of them. How the hell could they justify killing kids?" It was a naïve assumption. He knew it even as he spoke the words, but he still had to go through the motions and hold onto what was left of his belief that everything he had done had been right, that he had fought for the greater good.

"Five thousand kids of Japanese descent," Heero corrected. "In war, sacrifices have to be made for the greater good."

"Fuck that!" Duo pulled away. "That's bullshit and we both know it." The ends never justified the means.

"We do, but desperation causes those in authority to discard logic to justify actions they deem necessary." Heero closed his eyes. "I have to believe this isn't true, Duo." His voice shook. "I fought for them, turned my back on a part of my heritage and tried to embrace theirs. My mother encouraged that but I know it was because she thought it was for my own protection." Duo tightened his embrace. "It hurt her. When I took his name, I rejected a part of myself to follow the illusion of a man I now know never existed in reality." Discovering the truth about Odin Lowe had been hard on Heero. He had idolized the father who had never acknowledged his son's existence for most of his life. Finding out the truth at the hands of the man torturing him had been rough as hell. The wounds Heero had suffered had been far more than physical and it was doubtful those scars would ever fade.

"Them?" Duo sighed. He was American, that would never change, no matter if some idiot had given the order to drop this...atomic bomb, Quatre had called it. The code word bandied about before Duo had left had been 'tube alloys'. Code words might sugar coat for so long but reality had a habit of eventually biting a guy in the ass and hard.

"The American government," Heero said. "I swore when I faked my death that I would no longer give my allegiance to anyone." He caressed the end of Duo's braid, twisting it around and through his fingers. Heero Lowe had died that day and Heero Yuy had risen from the ashes to take his place. Still the same man in essence, the man Duo had fallen in love with, but one who had learnt from his past and was now more concerned about living in the present and hoping like hell to survive to make a future.

"We are who we are, Heero," Duo bent his head to kiss Heero. "Our past shapes us, but we make our own futures. We've both been through crap, but we're moving on." The knot in the base of his stomach twisted tighter. How the hell could they move on when they couldn't run far enough to escape the fallout? They had been instrumental in preventing the German project from progressing. While it was true that it might have failed without the defection of one of its scientists and the death of another, there was no knowing either way, and history tended to be selective about the details it shared so it was doubtful anyone would ever really know. Theirs was a story that would never be told; the official version would be somewhat different.

Even so, Duo couldn't help but feel responsible somehow. He'd met some of the guys who would have been behind this, talked to the people working on the Manhattan Project when he had been debriefed. They had been working to build something which would save American lives. That had been their priority. It had been Duo's once, too.

"I'm not sure we can." Heero pulled out of Duo's embrace to fiddle with the wireless again. He was growing more and more agitated. "If Truman has given the order to attack, there are many reasons why Hiroshima would be a logical target. It also does not have an allied prisoner of war camp nearby." Heero's fist came down on the table. "Why the hell isn't the information being broadcast? If this thing has hit, someone must know something by now."

"We can't do anything, Heero." Duo swallowed, trying, wanting, needing to stay calm for Heero. Once confirmation came, it would take hope with it. For the moment they could both cling to a possibility, however remote it might be.

"I know that." Heero muttered. "We've already tried and failed. I've already failed. As a son, at everything I had hoped to do with my life. There's nothing left."

"Hey, I'm here," Duo said softly. "Whatever happens, you have me. I'm not leaving. I love you and you're stuck with me."

"I'm being illogical." Heero looked up. His eyes were still clear, but there was a darkness reflected in them, an echo of a past and possible future that Duo wasn't sure Heero had ever had a chance to reconcile. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're human and you're you and I like you that way." Duo shrugged. "Besides, you're mine and I'll kick anyone's ass who tries to hurt you."

Heero smiled sadly. "You're already too late for that."

"Yeah, I know. But hey, a guy can dream." Duo managed a grin. "When this war is over, let's say we pull in a few favours and go visit your mom."

"She still thinks I'm dead." There was a time for practicality. This wasn't it.

"We don't know that. The letter you sent could have gotten through. She's probably got it in a safe place and reads it over. That's what mothers do."

"I suppose." Heero shrugged. "I know you're trying to distract me, Duo, and I appreciate it but it's not going to work."

"I hear Nagasaki is great this time of year." Duo didn't give up that easily. Usually he would have tried other ways of distraction, one in particular which he knew never failed, but it didn't seem right. Not now.

"Maybe." Heero was determined to be non-committal. Fine, that was his choice. Duo could respect that, but it didn't mean he would stop trying. Heero wasn't the only one who had focus.

The music stopped to be replaced by silence. Heero frowned. When the announcer spoke, the words were babbled, disbelief and shock crossing the language barrier. Heero stilled, pale.

"Heero?" Duo leaned over his lover when he got no response, swinging the tuner in both directions, trying to pick up a station in a language he could understand. "What the fuck's happened? Heero?"

"It's gone. The city is gone. They don't know why, they're still looking into it." Heero was shaking, his voice hoarse. "God, they must have done it. It's the only thing that makes sense."

"It might have been a normal air raid," Duo tried to sound positive. "A couple of B52s can do considerable damage if they hit the right targets." Damn it, why wasn't this stupid shit of a wireless cooperating? There had to be something on here, someone who could tell them.

It would be several hours later before their fears were confirmed. Hours spent holding each other, praying they were wrong. Hoping like hell, that if they were right, this would be a one off. After all, there was no way anyone would repeat this, knowing the repercussions, right?

"Right," Heero said. He was a terrible liar. They both were, except for when they had been lying to themselves about their feelings for each other. Those lies Duo had wanted to be untrue. This he didn't.

When the awaited announcement came, they were both pale and edgy, a day of not eating, of nightmares breaking into daylight, of words neither wanted to hear but would forever echo, the beginning of a winter mere hours after the dawn of a rising sun.

"The world will note that the first atomic bomb has been dropped in Hiroshima, a military base." Truman's speech was a long one to the American people, mainly concerned with the settlement of postwar Germany. The news Heero and Duo had been desperate to hear was merely a paragraph amongst many. "That was because we wish in this first attack to avoid, in so far as possible, the killing of civilians."