'Screwed' in the figurative sense, that is. We'd already explored the literal sense of the word the night before, hence Heero's hair on my pillow. And his scent on my sheets.

Fuck.

Already quite alert despite having just woken up, I rolled over onto my side to read the alarm clock. 10 AM. Heero would definitely not be in the apartment anymore, since he had to be at work by 9. Thank God for small miracles.

I was pretty sure that was why I woke up alone, though some masochistic part of me was wondering if he hadn't hightailed it out of here the moment I fell asleep.

But I'm the one that runs away, not him.

I sat up, briefly wondering where the covers had gone, but then I saw them pooled on the floor a little past the bed, and seeing them reminded me of how they'd gotten there. I groaned and decided it was time for coffee.

As I got up and made my way to the kitchen, my head was swimming with the knowledge of what had happened the night before. Somehow, from something so innocent as having my best friend come over to help fix my computer, we'd progressed to having dinner to having a much-too-intimate conversation to tentatively kissing to fucking in my goddamn bed. The speed with which we went from 'platonic best friends' to 'holy shit we just had sex' was a little mind-boggling. This kind of thing had never even come up in conversation between us. And yet, obviously, the desire to do so must have been brewing under the surface for quite some time for it to appear so suddenly and passionately.

I hadn't even been aware that Heero was capable of passion. I know that sounds like a horrible thing to say, especially coming from his best friend, but it just goes to show that there is a lot about Heero that I don't know. I don't think I'll ever understand him completely.

This crossed my mind as I waited for my coffee to percolate, and it made me think. Something had occured to me the night before, while Heero was in my arms -- that this was most likely his first time. I wasn't one hundred percent sure on it being his first time having sex altogether, but definitely his first time with a guy. Hell, I definitely hadn't had much experience in that field.

So what did that mean? We had shared something serious last night. Everything was obviously going to change between us. A man and a woman might be able to brush off a one night stand as just that and put it behind them, but two men, one of whom had never even shown an interest in guys before, do not sleep together and just forget about it. Things were not going to be the same.

But how were they going to change? What did Heero want? I didn't even know what I wanted. I hadn't thought I wanted Heero. Sure, he was attractive, but he was my friend. I wasn't going to sleep with him. And since I had never thought about sleeping with him, I had never considered the results doing it would bring.

Sitting there at the table in my underwear at ten in the morning, I suddenly and very clearly saw myself with Heero in a long-term relationship. Doing cutesy shit, like putting my arm around him just because. Kissing him casually and meaningfully. Moving his things in with mine.

It was a little scary, that I could picture that situation so easily. Even scarier, it seemed really nice. Then again, why shouldn't it be? Heero was... Heero. Completely unique. My best friend. I wouldn't mind having more of him around.

But did he want that? I wasn't sure. Nothing last night had been very one-sided; neither of us had really initiated anything, more like we mutually moved closer and closer to getting physical. He had definitely wanted to sleep with me, but did he want to actually be with me?

That brought me back to the hair on my pillow. It was only a couple of strands, but I knew they were his because my hair is not dark and slightly crimpy like Heero's. They were right next to me on my pillow. I have a queen-sized bed. There is a lot of room in it, and more than one pillow.

Except, whether consciously or not, Heero had decided to rest his head next to mine, minimizing the space between us. Letting himself fall further in, instead of pulling away. The kind of thing that makes me turn all gooey inside in a really disconcerting way.

I wondered if he took a shower before he left. I wondered if he used my towels.

And if he didn't, did he still smell like me? Was there still saliva, sticky and nearly dry, trailing a path down his neck to his chest and below? Was there still... other stuff on him too? I, personally, had woken up smeared with lubricant and come, not all of it mine. Heero couldn't have been much different. Had he gone to work like that? With last night's passion all over him?

The coffee percolated, and I hastily got up to pour myself a cup in distraction. Oh man, those kinds of thoughts were doing things to me. Last night had been... something else entirely. Thinking about some of the stuff Heero had let me get away with, I could only shake my head. Maybe the guy really did have a thing for me after all.

So what could I do? Ask him out on a date? That sounded like a one-way ticket to Awkward. We had a rhythm worked out, after being best friends for so many years, and the thought of us suddenly holding hands shyly or bringing each other flowers just seemed ridiculous.

If not that, then what? Pretend like we'd been dating forever, fucking forever, and move in together or something? We didn't really know each other that way. Being best friends was one thing, but being lovers (Boyfriends? Partners?) seemed like something else entirely.

And I didn't even do relationships that well. Or really, even at all. So why did I want to do this in the first place? Nothing like a little love to fuck up a good friendship, after all. Maybe the best thing to do was just acknowledge the sex for what it was, and put it behind us. Leave it somewhere and continue down the same path we'd always gone down.

But then there was that little nagging problem of Heero's head nestled up against me on my own damn pillow. Jeez, what a little cuddle can do to a guy. I imagined what it must've looked like, his stupid bushy hair getting all up in my face, tickling my nose. I wonder if I sneezed on him at all in my sleep, because I'm gross and I know it's something I'd do, and if he'd cared. Maybe he'd thought it was cute. Did he even get to sleep last night? Knowing Heero, he might've just spent the whole night contemplating the universe while he was curled up in my armpit. How adorable.

Oh God. Not "weird", not "typical", but "adorable."

"Shit," I groaned over my coffee cup. "I think I have a crush on Heero."

That simple declaration hung heavy in the air like it held the irritating ring of truth to it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how often I went out of my way to be with the guy. How much I admired him. How annoyed I got when he'd do something like cut his hair without telling me beforehand. How I didn't like meeting his girlfriends, and didn't mind when they didn't last very long. How he usually didn't even bother introducing us or even really talking about them. How much I thought about him when he wasn't around.

And apparently, the idea of getting him naked and fucking the shit out of him had been sitting around in the back of my mind for a while, too. Yeah, from all sides of it, it looked like I had a huge boner for the guy. Crap.

And who the fuck knew what he felt? Maybe he liked me. Maybe he was crazy about me and hadn't ever said anything before. Maybe last night was some weird fluke and he'd just rolled over in his sleep and had ended up shedding on my pillow by total accident. Who the fuck knew?

I sure as hell didn't, and I guess sitting around discussing it with my coffee wasn't going to solve any problems. I decided what I needed was a shower, so I could stop thinking about it for a while. Besides, my boxers were crunching when I moved, and that was just disgusting.

Amazing what fresh clothes and washed hair can do to a guy. It was 11 when I'd finally cleaned myself up and made the bed. A little bit wistfully, I might reluctantly add. Who knew if I'd ever get another chance with Heero to get the bed looking like that again.

Feeling sort-of human now that I'd had a shower, I hopped back into the kitchen to make myself some toast for breakfast. I was on my second piece when the doorbell rang.

Throwing my breakfast onto a napkin, I went over to answer the door, and who the fuck should be there but Heero Yuy himself.

I kind of just stood there for a moment, taking in his appearance. He was wearing his clothes from yesterday, and they looked pretty wrinkled and stale. He looked like he'd showered, though. My towels hadn't been used, so that must've meant that he'd swung back over by his place before going to work. That was a little weird of him. Maybe he'd thought I'd get angry if he'd showered at my place?

His expression was impossible to read. If I'd had to guess, I'd say it was somewhere between nervous and determined. In all honesty, it just looked like another one of Heero's frowns. It's hard to tell between them what's going on back there.

I realized a little belatedly that I was just sitting there, leaning on the door with a dumb look on my face. "Hey," I said, trying not to sound confused. I did, anyway. I was having a weird butterflies-in-my-stomach kind of reaction to the surprise appearance of my best friend that I really didn't appreciate. Jeez, admit your attraction for a guy and you start acting like a blushing schoolgirl the minute you see him. I can be a huge idiot sometimes.

Heero looked at me, and then down at his feet. Oh hey, he was nervous. "Hey, Duo."

We stood there stupidly for a while again. I couldn't think of anything to say. Okay, more like, I couldn't think of how to say what I really wanted to say, so I just ended up with, "aren't you supposed to be at work?"

Great job, Duo. The height of smoothness.

"I couldn't concentrate," Heero said simply. Huh. There's a stumper for you. "I went home sick."

"And ended up here?" I sounded way too guarded. Didn't I want him here?

Heero looked up from the floor and right into my eyes. Oh man, don't turn those on me, it's not fair. "Duo, we need to talk about last night."

Oh shit. Here it goes, I thought. We were about to dive into something, and our friendship wasn't going to be the same afterwards. Whether it was going to be for better or for worse was what we were going to find out.

I sort-of nodded and motioned for him to come inside, really glad that I had decided to get dressed. I didn't want to be having this conversation in my fucking underwear.

"Um, so, uh... what about last night?"

Heero shot me a look, then decided that glaring at the refridgerator was a better idea. Poor guy. He looked like he was going to pass out. "We slept together last night."

"Yeah, no shit."

"You don't see anything wrong with that?"

I shrugged, trying to keep it neutral. "What do you mean by wrong?"

Man, the air was all tense around us. It felt really out of place. This was supposed to be my best friend, after all.

"Well, that sort of thing doesn't usually happen between two guys, does it?"

"I guess not. Does that make it a bad thing?"

"That depends." Heero was still staring at the fridge as if his life depended on it. Shit, I was surprised it hadn't caught fire yet.

"On what?" I could be a really uncooperative little bastard sometimes when I felt like it. I guess I was scared of him saying the whole thing was a mistake. Or maybe I was scared of him saying it wasn't. Who the hell knew.

"On you, I guess."

"Heero, could you stop glaring at my refridgerator?"

Instead, he turned his glare on me. I tried to see what he wanted me to say there, but I was coming up empty. "I'm not... I'm not sure what you mean."

Heero sighed, pulled a chair out from under the kitchen table, sat down. "Today at work, I couldn't concentrate. I just kept thinking... about last night. About what it meant. And whether it meant the same to me as it did to you."

"What did it mean to you?" I said. I was apparently completely unable to take control of this conversation. I'm a big pansy sometimes, I really am.

Thankfully for both of us, Heero, after staring at the table for a very long time, went for broke. "Last night, I felt something I never have before."

Well... shit. "A good something?"

"Yeah." He was back to glaring at my refridgerator. Oh well, it had been worth a shot.

He took a long time before he spoke. "If you were interested... I don't think I want to just be friends anymore. I don't even know if I can."

Hooooly crap. Way to drop a bomb on me, Yuy. All of a sudden, that scary little I-don't-do-relationships voice crept back into my head, reminding me of how spectacularly I had failed at every single attempt at this before. Crashing and burning with Heero would suck like nothing else. Maybe we'd worked as best friends, but what if that didn't translate into working as a couple? Maybe this was a really bad decision, even though it was one I wasn't even being given the liberty to make. Maybe Heero was just setting us up for painful failure.

But I thought about Heero's soft kiss, the taste of his mouth, the sound he made as he came. I thought about his hair on my pillow, and the thought of waking up to him curled against me as he slept. I thought about surprising him with presents, slipping my arms around his waist, kissing the soft skin of his collarbone. I thought of moving his stuff in alongside mine, holding hands, making photo albums of our vacations together. I thought about life with Heero beside me, and life without him.

And I decided that crashing and burning was a risk I was willing to take.

"I think I'd like to see if this can work out, how about you?"

Well, that was all it took. Heero was up and out of the chair and crossing the room to reach me before I had even fully registered it. His hands came up to tangle in my hair and pull me in for a rough kiss, not releasing me until our breaths ran ragged in the air between us.

"I have to be at work by 12:30," I whispered, lamely.

Heero smirked, face inches away from mine. "Then I think you're going to be late."

He pulled me into another deep, intoxicating kiss. When he released me, I had no qualms left. "Yeah, I think you're right."

And with that, we stepped into our future together, and have never once looked back.