Did I say love? Well, yeah, I did. Though it's a strange love, it's what we have. What's that line in that song? Our love is like water, pinned down and abused for being strange. Yeah, that's us. I mean, look at us. I'm annoying at best, downright insufferable at worst. I take a lot of getting used to... at least, until you see who I am beneath that which I show.

Heh, confused you, didn't I? But it's true. He never took me at face value, for which I will always be grateful. His eyes always bored into me; looking deeper and deeper, seeing more of me than anyone else... sometimes I think he sees more of me than I do. It's part of my attraction to him; I just wish I knew what his attraction to me was, but somehow, as long as the interest is there, I'll leave well enough alone. He seems to know me so well, no matter what we're doing, where we are, or what I've done.

No! Nothing like that. I'd never hurt him, it'd be like hurting myself. I couldn't watch those amazing Prussian blue eyes show hurt briefly before closing off to me. And he would. Because Heero Yuy doesn't give you more than one chance. I've seen him close off to people who got close and hurt him. Just one chance is all you get, one chance to get under that skin and love him for who he is. If you stuff that one chance up, it's so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye.

Hmmm, I swear that line is from a movie. Oh, wait, it's an embarrassing movie, forget I mentioned it.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yes. I'd never hurt him. Although I swear that I've pushed him a lot further more often, I won't complain. It's been like this for more years than I care to count. It took us many years to get where we are now. If I count them, maybe they'll seem too good to be true. In reality, they probably are too good to be true, but I was never satisfied with reality anyway.

Sometimes I feel like he isn't even there, although I can reach out and physically touch him. The relationship is far from perfect. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it for the world, but sometimes... sometimes it just seems like everything wants to remind us that we have to work hard at what we have. There are rarely perfect moments, but to be honest, when those perfect moments appear, they're worth all the crap we've been through and more.

So I'll sit and watch him, like I'm doing now, and be content that he's mine. The way his hair has the same tousled look in his sleep as it does when he's awake. The way his skin shines so softly in the dawning light. The way the sheet drapes provocatively around his hips, because I know just what's underneath those covers. Absolutely nothing.

I smile, but then I usually do. He looks so young when he's asleep, so peaceful. I'd reach out a hand and touch him, if I thought it wouldn't wake him, but I know him too well. He'll know a split second before my skin makes contact, and be wide awake. And then my morning ritual will be ruined. His chest rises and falls so rhythmically, it's hypnotic.

His voice rips me out of my contemplation. That beautiful, deep, just woken timbre resonates down to my very bones. Ok, we all know what sort of bone I'm thinking of; I was trying to be poetic.

"What's on your mind, Duo?"

I play for time. "Nothing. Why would anything be on my mind?"

He rolls so that one arm is supporting his weight as he props himself up. "Because your morning ritual is taking longer today."

Morning ritual? Shit. He's known all this time? And hasn't said anything? I suppress a groan at having been caught out. "Today?" is all I manage to ask weakly.

His brow wrinkles slightly with concern, at least, I know it's concern. He reaches one hand towards me tentatively. "Duo?"

"I was just...thinking." It's probably the only thing I feel is safe to say. I hate getting caught out. Believe it or not, I don't always feel the urge to keep up an unending stream of conversation. Especially not when my lover is lying mostly naked in my bed.

He smiles, and I know that look. It sends shivers down my spine. He raises himself up a little more and crawls over to me, up my body, forcing me to lie down on the pillows. This is the way he is with me, after all the years of being together. This is Heero at ease. There are still reflexes he has, and reactions he makes, but when it's just the two of us, I don't care about those other things.

His face is just above mine, and I wonder why he never seems to have that morning breath. Maybe I'm just biased, or else I tune it out. This man has everything of me, and I don't even think he knows it.

"Duo." The way he breathes my name, makes me tremble, and not in a bad way. Maybe he does know after all. "Don't think. It's too early. Just be."

I smile at our private joke. But that's a tale for another time. I'm going to be very preoccupied in a second. His body is lightly pressed against mine; just enough to give off the heat and scent that is so uniquely Heero.

He kisses me and I melt. I could lose myself in his kisses, and I frequently do. In fact, I think I'll do so right now.

The quoted song is All Over You by Live.