Dangling from the cables inside an elevator shaft, sixteen floors above the ground, is an interesting place to have an epiphany. Somewhere between, 'fuck me, sixteen floors' and 'wow, talk about rope burn' is the realization that I'm going to die a lonely old man before I'm even legally old enough to drink.

"Shit! Duo!" My partner of the month, Rico, is leaning through the open doors a couple floors above me. "What the fuck are you doing, man?"

I grin manically, twisting so I can get a better grip on the cable. "Well the chimney was too crowded so I thought I'd take the elevator."

Rico looks past me and his eyes widen. "Is that a bomb? Fuck it is a bomb. Mary, mother of Jesus."

I laugh and with one hand clutching the cable, pop open the cover and squint at the contents. "Bombs are always so festive, red, green and white." I tip my head and looked up at Rico. "Got a favorite color? I've always been partial to green myself."

"Shit." He swallows and I can see him fumble with his phone, giving the orders to evacuate the building and call the bomb squad. "Come back up Duo, the squad will be here in fifteen."

I squint at the wires and follow their connections, shaking my head slightly. "Well, here are our two choices. We can wait for the bomb squad and go up in a large burning ball of flaming bits, or I can take care of it myself."

My arm is starting to burn from holding my weight and stick out my legs and brace them against the shaft wall to ease some of the strain. Above me Rico is swearing and I think more of it is directed at me than the actual bomb. "I don't suppose you have a pair of wire cutters on you, do you?"

"Are you shitting me?" His voice cracks and I chuckle, shifting my feet for a better purchase.

"Just kidding. I'll use my pocket knife." I glance up toward him and then back at the tangle of wires in front of me. "Rico, you probably want to be getting yourself out. This thing is more wired than a Christmas tree and I'd hate for you to be all distracting me and stuff."

"What about you?" He looks down at me and I can tell he's worried. He'd been a good partner, efficient at his job. Tonight was supposed to be a cake walk, big political Christmas bash, we do our guard duty thing and then dash out for some post party cheer. Too bad somebody had to go and replace the mistletoe with something slightly more deadly.

I smile and pull my gun out, pointing it toward the switch holding the door open. "Don't worry about me; I've got it covered."

"Fuck you Duo, don't you dare . . ." But the rest of his sentence is cut off as I fire and the door slides shut. If I'm going to go, I'll do it alone. No need to be dragging other people down with me.

It really is a bitch of a bomb and I can feel sweat dripping down my temple and into my collar.

Odd how we find ourselves in the places we do. A year ago I stood in the cockpit of Deathscythe and all I could think about was Heero Yuy's ass. Shoving the gun back in its holster, I grin and stick a piece of gum in my mouth. Actually things haven't changed all that much. Heero Yuy's ass still takes up a large portion of my mind.

Back then, all around me people were laughing and crying, Quatre and Trowa staggered in from somewhere and Sally was hugging Wufei. I stood on 'Scythe's hatch and watched Heero as he walked out of my life.

Red, green or white? I chew idly and gently sort the wires, trying to ignore the timer counting down the seconds.

Of course, he walked back in a few months later when we both signed up as Preventers. You would think, after my missed opportunity the first time I would have got it right the second.

Funny how imminent death brings to mind all the stuff we haven't done in life. Why can't we think about all the good things we've accomplished? Instead, my mind is filled with the paperwork I haven't completed, the gifts I haven't wrapped, that apology I still owe Hilde and most of all . . . Heero Yuy.

Everyone wonders why I rotate through partners every month. Wufei rolls his eyes whenever the subject comes up. He's the only one that knows the true reason I won't partner Yuy. I always hoped that some day we could be more than just work mates. And partners aren't allowed to be in a relationship.

Why I have no problem confessing my feelings to Wufei, but I can't manage one coherent sentence to Heero, is beyond me. I mean, the guy works directly across the hall. I see him every single day at lunch. I get to secretly check out his ass every Friday afternoon in the locker room before and after our weekly basketball game.

The words though, they just don't come.

They always make it look so easy in the movies when the hero cuts through the wires. It's a pocket knife for Christ's sake, not a laser. I saw at the wires, ignoring the burning in my arm and legs, ignoring the clock and ignoring my own frustration. Finally the knife gets through the plastic coating and bites into the actual wire. With a relieved groan I stick the knife back in my pocket. Spitting out the gum, I use it to plug the cut ends and stick them to the wall. In the corner, the clock stops ticking and I allow myself a low chuckle.

Cautiously I disconnect out the small bottle of liquid explosive and tuck it inside my jacket. I stare up and grimace ruefully. Here I thought I was all clever and shit for locking Rico out but I seem to have also locked myself in. I look down and sigh heavily.

Somewhere between floors nine and ten and I decide that tonight is definitely going to be the night. I can't keep letting these near death experiences pass me by. I need to reach out and seize the day. Go up to Heero and just tell it to him straight.

I grunt and pause, bracing my feet again to give my arms a break. Why do people have to make buildings so damn tall? Couldn't they be happy with just two or three stories?

"I'm not going any higher than a step ladder for at least a week after this." My voice echos up and down the shaft and I start lowering myself again. Eighth floor, only seven more to go.

"So Heero, want to grab a movie, maybe a bite to eat?" I nod. I never have a problem with that part. It's all the stuff afterward I can't seem to manage. How the hell do you tell a guy you like him without sounding like an ass?

"Heero. I like you. A lot." I snort and lower myself another foot or so. Hand over hand is fucking tedious.

"Heero, I don't know if I love you but I want to get the chance to find out." The arm that was holding me while I worked the bomb suddenly spasms into a cramp and my grip loosens. The cable slides between my hands, burning, and I'm falling before I even have time to yell.

The seventh floor door is open. As I slide by I have time to catch a face and then I'm past. Suddenly my head snaps and I jerk to a stop. Wincing I look up and Heero has reached out and snagged me by the collar of my jacket.

"If you wanted to ask me on a date, there are better places to do it." His teeth are clenched and I can see the muscles in his arm bulge as he hauls me upward and out.

I lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Next to me, Heero is breathing heavily and glaring. I smile weakly. "So Heero. Doing anything tonight?"

"You jack ass." But then he leans forward and kisses me.

I guess near death experiences are good for something after all.