If I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up it's not goodbye

"Dream about me while I'm gone."

An uncharacteristic smile creases his face as he leans in for one more kiss. I love him so, and he loves me right back. I hold him close, breathing in his scent. I watch the door close, and sigh as I lay back down. Sleep takes me back quickly, and I dream wonderful dreams. The war is over, we're still alive, the wind is blowing softly around us. His arms are around me, his head resting on my shoulder. We stand on top of a hill, looking down at the world around us. The possibilities are endless. I turn around, seeing my own happiness reflected back in his eyes.

Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams
Ohh I'll be with you

I wake up, and my smile is bigger than usual. I laugh at the image of my face simply exploding with a smile as my heart is exploding with joy. Rolling my eyes at my own sick sense of humour, I get showered, dressed, and ready to face the day.

If I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry.
And if I'm gone when you wake up don't ask why

He returns to me. He always returns to me. I always return to him. We've vowed to stay alive for each other. We've talked about it often. We're well aware of the realities of war and death. We face it each and every day, knowing what the outcome could be. Neither of us has ever had a real reason to stay alive though before now; before we found each other.

Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress Remember me, remember me, cause I'll be with you in your dream, ohh, ohh

There are still nightmares. I wake with them more than he does, and he draws me near, holding me, whispering that he's there. I fall asleep in his arms, my dreams shifting to ones of him.

Don't cry I'm with you don't cry I'm by your side
Don't cry I'm with you don't cry I'm by your side

As the fighting grows more intense, we talk of death more, and of our fears of losing each other. He looks at me, taking my breath away with the love I see in those pools of prussian blue. "I'll never leave you." He's so confident, so in control.
"Sometimes you can't control everything, Heero. Things happen in the best of times, let alone war. We're Gundam pilots. We take the most risks. Death is always just around the corner. You can't cheat him forever. I should know."
"I know. But, I'll still never leave you. If I die, if you die, we'll always be together in our hearts. That's what matters."
I can't respond for a moment, and he kisses away the tears welling up in my eyes.
"Promise me that you'll never forget that." He pulls away to look at me. "Promise me, Duo."
"I promise you. We'll always be together."
The next morning, he had already left for his mission when I awoke. There was a note on his pillow with his traditional goodbye, "Dream about me while I'm gone."

And though my flesh is gone, whoa ohh
I'll still be with you at all times
And though my body is gone, whoa ohh
I'll be there to comfort you at all times
ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh

I look down at the note, the paper smooth with wear and crinkled from so many unfoldings and refoldings. How long has it been now? Just a few weeks, I think. Time has ceased to matter to me. I still fight, for peace, for him. Everyone was so worried about me, but they're beginning to calm down now. I didn't cry as they expected, didn't wail around bemoaning his fate, and they didn't quite know what to make of that. I knew it was a possibility every time either one of us left the other, and I know that my tears won't bring him back.

And I know that he's still with me. He's with me almost every night, in my dreams.

If I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up it's not goodbye

I still wake up expecting him to be lying next to me. I still reach out anticipating warmth, and finding coldness. I lie back, closing my eyes, and savouring the dream from last night. He was smiling at me, not too much, just that small, secret, Heero smile I know so well. I went to him, loving the feel of his arms around me. I held him, stroking his hair. We sat down still wrapped up together, and I told him what had been happening.

Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams

I haven't told anyone about the dreams. They're too private and special to me. They might think I've gone round the bend, but I haven't. The dreams keep me going. I get through each and every mission because I know that when it's all over with I can go home, and see him in my dreams. Practically every spare moment that I'm not on a mission, I'm sleeping, waiting for him to come to me. If I could find a way to sleep during missions, I would. I'm so happy when I see him. I don't have to worry about him anymore. I know that he's safe now, and I know that he's always with me.

I don't want you to cry and weep, whoa ohh
I want you to go on livin' your life
I'm not sleepin' an endless sleep, whoa ohh
Cause in your heart you have all good times, all of our good times

It's so great, really. I dreamt of our first kiss last night. I woke up before it was over, and I took a sleeping pill so I could go back to it. I couldn't leave before the kiss was over, I just couldn't. My dreams are amazing. If I could videotape them, I would. They're in such bright colours, full of sounds and smells and feelings. I've never felt so alive before. I love him so much, and I can't even describe how it feels to know that he loves me too.

If I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up it's not goodbye
Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress

I stayed home today. I just couldn't face another mission. I know that peace is important but I think that the others can do a fine job without me for today. I just can't leave my dreams right now. I'm going to have to take some more of the sleeping pills though. My body just doesn't want to sleep enough. I can't leave Heero even just for a moment. I need to hold him, and feel his hand in mine. I need to make love to him. I need to feel those feelings. I look at the bottle, and feel the hard plastic against my flesh instead of the soft hand that should be there. I realize that I can stay there with him forever if I want. I don't know why I haven't thought of that before now. We can be together forever. I promised him. And I never lie.

Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams
Ohh, I'll be with you in your dreams