I knew I was staring, but luckily I wasn't the only one. Every female (and even a few more males) had their eyes glued to him. Once his looks grew from curious to apprehensive (wouldn't you start to get weirded out if a whole room of people was staring at you?) people started to remember their manners and went back to their coffee or donuts. I remember that his gaze swept the room and, when his eyes momentarily met mine, I felt like someone had stamped my fate for me.

Ever hear of love at first sight? Yeah, if I didn't have a case of that then you could call me Seamus McTaternuts. I had it bad, right from the get go.

Why he chose to sit next to me that day I don't know. Maybe it was because there was no one else at my table. I was staring down into my coffee, lamenting my sad state when I heard a throat clear.

"Can I sit here?"

Color me purple. "Yeah, sure!"

So he sat. Somehow during that ten minutes we established a tenuous connection that grew into an invite for lunch later that day (from me to him). I was surprised when he accepted. I wasn't sure if he was gay (never had much luck with that whole gay-dar thing), but I was short of friends as well as lovers. I figured that maybe, just maybe, I could get over this attraction I felt for him. Maybe one day he'd cease to be Mister Oh-my-god-this-guy-makes-me-wanna-go-into-the-bathroom-and-jack-off-right-now and would become just my good pal Heero (for that was his actual name).

Lunch that day proved to be a very nice time. I had hoped it would be. Of course, I didn't expect to come away with an even stronger attraction and I didn't count on how hard it was going to be to hide it all but I managed. It became especially hard when I invited him out for a beer on Friday (he was new to the town and I wanted to show him a good pub) and he notified me that he had made previous plans for that night.

"Oh really?" I kept my tone light and breezy even though my insides were twisting into knots.

"Yeah. Relena has been living here a while and wanted to show me this restaurant she found in Japantown. She's sure I'll like it." He stabbed a cherry tomato and popped it into his mouth.

"Relena?" I tried to keep the jealously out of my voice and I wasn't sure I succeeded.

"Yeah. We were high school sweethearts."

Okay then. That settled it right there. He was going to break my heart. He was straight. How come a man that beautiful had to be straight?

We did end up going out for that beer, but it was on Saturday night instead of Friday. Okay, it was more than one beer. We played pool and threw darts and just had a genuinely good time. I remember him laughing and smiling. I remember him tugging my braid playfully. I remember teasing him about how his hair didn't have any style but bedhead (although, I secretly thought that he had permanent 'I just had a really good fuck' hair). We took a cab back to his place because it was closer and he let me crash on his couch.

His couch smelled like him. I don't think I need to go into how bad of a hard-on that gave me while he was asleep in his bedroom. He only got up once during the night to use the bathroom. Thank goodness too, because I ended up jacking off more than once (using tissues from the box on the end table) because I could smell him everywhere and I could imagine him in his bed, under his sheets, wearing only boxer shorts...

I had it bad, and it definitely wasn't good.

It started a kind of a pattern. We lunched together during the days, taking turns on choosing the place. We hung out together on at least one night during the weekend. I spent the other night with Quatre usually, while he spent it with...I don't know. I just always assumed he spent it with Relena or another girl. We didn't talk much about our personal lives. I was scared of him finding out I was gay, and I didn't want to hear about his high school sweetheart. I bet they were even elected prom king and queen.

I had never managed to get over him, but I guess I finally decided that I had better at least try to find someone to be romantic with. And I almost did.

I was out one night without Heero, but with Quatre. We were out at this new gay bar and I was dancing. It's something I like to do but don't do often. Quatre was over at our table talking to something that was tall and slightly latin looking, with a shock of cinnamon colored hair and green eyes. I smiled and danced, swiveling my hips and just doing what I could to take my mind off the fact that the person I really wanted to date would never come to a place like this.

Hands were placed on my hips lightly from behind. A pair of lips snuck up to my ear and asked, "Want to dance?"

I turned and saw that the man who had made the request was slightly taller than me, with dark blonde hair and hazel eyes. His hair, while not longer than mine, was a decent length and in a ponytail. I liked him on sight, even though I didn't feel that 'spark' that I felt when I saw Heero the first time. Not that the 'spark' was serving me at all with Heero. I nodded in agreement and began to dance with the man.

It was obvious that even though I hadn't felt the spark he certainly had, because when he pressed up against me I felt the evidence of his 'spark' right then and there. I wanted to cry. This man could get a hard-on for me, and he was certainly good-looking, and probably nice, but he wasn't Heero.

I felt ruined, and not a little depressed. I didn't even thank the man. I just walked off the dance floor, made my excuses to Quatre and his mystery man, and then caught a cab home.

I cancelled my night with Heero the next night via email. I told him I wasn't feeling that well and that I thought I should stay home and sleep. He emailed me back and told me that he hoped I felt better and that he would see me on Monday. I avoided him all day.

Heero was everything I wanted, everything I thought I would ever need, and he didn't want me. It stung and it hurt. I felt bruised and broken.

I told you that I knew he would break my heart.

When I crawled out of my stupor in time for our night out the next weekend, Heero seemed down as well.

Over a bowl of pretzels at our favorite pub I asked him, "Are you okay?"

He gave me an odd look. "Yeah, sure."

"You look like you ate something bad," I suggested.

He looked like he was weighing his words carefully. "Relena is moving away. She got a new job in Georgia."

I honestly felt bad for him, but at the same time I wondered if he was going to follow her. "That's harsh man. She didn't even ask you first? Man, if I was dating someone and they took a job that far away without even consulting me I would be pretty pissed."

His face became confused. "Dating? Relena and I aren't dating. We're just good friends. Besides you and Quatre she's about the only person I know here. When we broke up after high school it wasn't because we grew to hate each other or anything. It was because I had finally come to realize that she wasn't what I wanted. When I sat down and told her she immediately declared she would always be there for me and we've been great friends ever since. Why in the hell would you think I was dating her?"

My eyes darted this way and that and my heart was threatening to beat so hard that it would pop right through my ribcage. "It's just...you go out with her every weekend..."

"I go out with you every weekend too, you know. Except for last weekend," he said with slight regret.

"I just...I assumed that since you were high school sweethearts and that you were straight that you had reconnected or some kind of shit."

"Duo, I'm gay. That's why Relena and I broke up in the first place. I found that I had spent more time in high school staring at other boys in the shower than I spent staring at the cheerleaders in their short skirts. How could you not know I was gay? Hell, I've known you were gay since I met you!"

Remember how my gay-dar is broken? Yeah. Apparently Heero's is intact and working. "You've known, all this time, and didn't ever bother asking me out?"

That confused look came back out. "I thought that we've been dating since the beginning. I thought we were just taking it slow..." His eyes became less confused and more enlightened. "You....you thought I was straight. You spent every weekend with me thinking I was dating Relena and I spent every weekend with you thinking I was dating you. You...didn't know I liked you?"

"No," I admitted meekly.

"God Duo!" He grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me. Hard. It felt so good I thought I was going to faint. He was a very good kisser too, and I found myself eagerly opening my mouth so he could kiss me more thoroughly. He tasted better than my imagination had ever thought, and hen he wrapped his arms around me I honestly thought I had died and gone to heaven.

But breathing has to happen eventually, and when he let go I found myself leaning into him and counting on him to hold me up.

"Duo?"

"Hmm?"

"People are staring."

"Come home with me?"

"God yes."

The cab ride home was interesting, to say the least. Heero tipped the man generously for putting up with our making out in his taxi. I don't think we even made it into the door before Heero was nibbling at my earlobe and unbuttoning my shirt.

Months of pent-up sexual frustration meant that clothing was flying everywhere as we kissed and groped our way to the bedroom. I knew I was going to end up on bottom, but that was okay with me. I didn't always like bottom but I figured that with enough coaxing I could get Heero beneath me at some point. But not right now. Right now I felt like I needed to be there, with his cock thrusting into me, reminding me of my mistake and how much time was lost because I just didn't ask a couple of simple questions.

His mouth was hot on my skin, and I found out a thousand new ways to say his name. He felt so good against me and his skin tasted like sweat and male. He was so careful and yet so thorough in prepping me that he soon had me riding his fingers wantonly, wanting more and frustrated because it wasn't his cock inside of me. But when he did slide into me, with my knees pressed against my chest and my feet hanging over his elbows, I knew pure bliss. He slid in so slowly, so deliberately.

I found myself breathing the words I had felt since the moment our eyes had met in that break room. "I love you."

He groaned and slid in further. I started to chant it, almost a mantra. When he started to move, in and out with deliberate slowness, I made it match his rhythm. When he finally couldn't take it anymore and started slamming inside of me like a piston I started to shout it, damn the neighbors. "I love you Heero!"

When we were done he wiped me off with a warm cloth. I was smiling like a kitten who had gotten the cream and I felt about as weak as one. He had fucked me into the mattress and I had loved every minute of it. I had loved him through every minute of it. When he climbed into the bed next to me and I slithered half on top of him I could hear his soft laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked sleepily.

"When did you fall in love with me?"

My eyes popped open. "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Would you believe it was love at first sight? You walked into that break room and all I could think was that you were going to break my heart. You walked in, I took one look at you, and I was lost." I bit my lip, so close to tears that I thought I was going to actually cry.

"And here I thought I was the only one." I lifted my head and looked at him in surprise. He shrugged. "When I saw you all I could think was that I would do anything to be with you. And I endured months of thinking we were never going to amount to anything with that thought in mind."

"We're a couple of idiots," I smirked.

"Fools," he agreed.

"But we're fools in love, so I guess it's okay?" I laughed a little.

"Fools that are deeply," I lifted my head and he kissed me, "madly," another kiss that deepened slightly, "in love."

"You're corny," I remarked.

"I'm in love with you," he shrugged. I smacked his arm and laughed.

So now it's the same thing as before, except now when we crash while drunk it's in the same bed, and when we go out on weekend it's every night together...and the next time he saw Relena...he took me with him. Quite a charming girl. She told Heero he was lucky to have found someone like me. I think I blushed. At the end of the night she kissed me on the cheek and whispered, "Take good care of him for me."

I knew then that she had never really gotten over him. I saw it in her eyes and felt it when she hugged him.

I guess Heero Yuy is the type of person you just don't get over, and it's just as well because I don't ever plan to try.